This was again while my mother was working with the highway department. During the cold months, my mom’s legs would always get very cold working outside. She lucked out and had found a discount store that had started clearance pricing all their “unwanted” flannel tights. These were the tights that came in fuchsia, puke yellow, got-the-runs brown, lime green, etc. My mom didn’t care, they were just thin enough to give her some insulation under her jeans.
She was standing on the back of a pickup truck in front of the local military base, on the only road that led out of town when she bent over to tie down something on the back of the pickup, when she heard a giant, rrrrrrriiiiiiiiiiiiiiippppppp.
Ass toward the passing cars, my mom’s jeans had ripped up the back and passersby were blessed with the full fuchsia moon arising from the back of a pickup on the side of the road. for whatever reason that I wasn’t listening to when she shared this story, most likely because I was gasping for air, my mom was unable to immediately stand up and deal with her recent southern exposure. She had to wait until whatever it was was completely tied down before dealing with her baboon impressioned derriere.