What’s Sex Got To Do With It? (G-uno)

Sex has everything to do with maintaining a successful long term relationship. I’m just going to put it out there, if the sex isn’t mutually satisfying the relationship has a very small chance of surviving. I am in no way negating all of the many other components that make a long term relationship successful, but most (since there is always the tiniest possibility of an exception applying the never say never factor) relationships will fail if this vital component is lacking.

I will even go so far as to say that if your reading this, and shaking your head in disagreement, it is because deep down you know this is true. My view of relationships is the same as my view of everything else in life. I believe there are no set rules in this life for most situations, excluding cases of abuse. I have raised my own two children with the mindset that what may apply to one person, may not apply to another. There are a multitude of ways to do the right thing, as well as, a multitude of things the wrong way. Relationships are like fingerprints or snowflakes. Each is an original that can only be guided by the people who are creating the relationship. I know those of you who wish to oppose this subject are saying well what if the couple decides that they don’t think sex matters. This is as I stated earlier, what falls into the very minute category of never say never.

Sex is the great equalizer within a relationship. It is the one component in the relationship that sets all other relationships apart. It is intimacy in it’s highest form. A connection that covers a multitude of needs within the relationship. Desire, pleasure, need, comfort, relief, happiness, laughter, sadness, excitement… The key factor here is that the very act itself must be equally satisfying to both (in some cases all) partners. If both partners are not completely truthful about their own sexuality you will build a false intimacy. Sexual compatibility can be faked, but it can not be faked forever. It is the foundation of all long term relationships. You can build a house without a solid foundation, from the outside it may look like the most beautiful home. In time it will begin to crack, slowly deteriorating and eventually it will collapse. 😉


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  1. #1 by Oness Biiig on November 21, 2014 - 10:11 am

    so you are implying that no relationship can survive without sex.And if so what if am in a relationship with a religious chic who says we abstain till marriage

    • #2 by idioglossiablog on November 21, 2014 - 12:21 pm

      No, I am saying that no long term relationship will last if the the people within the relationship are not completely honest about their sexual compatibility. Most people are uncomfortable with truthfully sharing their particular needs regarding sex. If you are dating someone who has made the choice to not have sex, and you know this is a relationship that has the potential to be a long term relationship start talking. Make sure you are both truthful about your particular sexual needs. Great conversations are the key to great relationships. Getting someone to truthfully tell you how they feel about their sexual desires is a lot more complicated than it sounds. ;).

    • #3 by g2 on November 21, 2014 - 3:05 pm

      oooh, Oness Biiig you raise an interesting point… women who embrace the milk buying concept, how to respect that in tandem with understanding your sexual compatibility as a couple. G-uno is a rare breed, she talks the sex talk with ease. Someone who is not yet familiar with sex may turn purple and become speechless. It may take a delicate hand depending on the person.

      I can only weigh in on my own experience. I married young, too fast and my former spouse was my first. I wish I had gotten to know them well sexually before becoming too serious. Over the years, I knew every one of their on/off switches inside and out, but they could not identify a single one of mine. So I completely relate to what G-uno is saying.

      At the same time, there is a lot of physical intimacy that can be experienced outside of “sex.” How we connect when abandon our inhibitions is one of the most telling about ourselves and the person we’re with. Might she be open to such?

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