Try to keep in mind this blog was intended to be a place where you can post topics you couldn’t possibly openly talk about publicly. This may be subject matter some could find to be quite offensive and most assuredly a little vulgar. With that said there is nothing in this world like the conversations we have had with our children over the years. I am sure that yesterday being Thanksgiving other families were sharing warm exchanges filled with daily, and past memories. Well we are not that kind of family. Our dinner topics are always (for some reason) way off the normal range. To make matters worse my husband and I may be somewhat responsible for this because we find our kids to be hilarious.
Our daughter and son our grown now, both in their twenties. Yesterday our daughter and her boyfriend (boyfriend seems like a strange term as they have been together 6 years), held their first Thanksgiving together in their apartment. I call this young man “The Favorite” he is more on the quiet side ,and puts up with our family’s eccentricities. Our children are exactly 23 months to the day apart, but have always behaved like they were twins. One family member very accurately pointed out they do everything in tandem.
This year we happen to be discussing reasons to lose weight. Keep in mind we are celebrating Thanksgiving stuffing ourselves with delicious food. I of course say, I would like to lose weight for my health, and to feel better in general (I am a little on the fluffy side myself), the rest of my bunch are actually very weight appropriate. When my son looks towards his sister with a huge mischievous grin, and says “Mom the best reason in the world to lose weight is to avoid getting a F.U.P.A.!” Now having raised these children I knew fully that I was being set up here purely for their personal enjoyment, but I had to ask anyway. What is a F.U.P.A?
Here is your chance to leave this blog, let it never be said you weren’t fully warned! A huge smile now comes over our son’s face and he says” Well Mom that depends on whether your a male or a female.” I glance over at our daughter who is unable to contain her laughter. The favorite is looking very uncomfortable with a look of please don’t say this out loud. My son continues explaining that F.U.P.A is an acronym. I am a fairly smart woman who is much too curious for her own good. I ask my son “What does F.U.P.A. stand for son?”
His reply “If your a male it stands for fat-upper-penis- area, and if your a female it stands for fat-upper-pussy-area.” Then both of our children, seeing my face proceed to burst out into hysterical laughter. Our son takes this a little further by saying “You know Mom, that huge roll of skin that folds over, and covers your “P” areas.” I can now visualize this in my head, all too vividly. I accuse my son of making up this vulgar acronym up just to mess with me. Apparently I was wrong. F.U.P.A. is a well known thing among people of a younger age group. Part of me believes this (after a great deal of time was spent trying to convince me), and part of me is still wondering if this is true.
Whether or not this term actually exists I will tell you this, I fully intend to conjure up that highly vivid image the next time I am trying give myself an excuse not to exercise. 😉