pants are optional (g2)

I’m enjoying one of those rare moments when my kid has decided to spend the night at a friend’s house. At this point, I have to say my kid is probably the exact opposite to G-uno’s in this sense. My kid can run pretty fast and enjoys it and overall has a healthy body, but they generally stick close to home and prefer to draw and play on the computer then go outside. I once asked what they thought about me getting an old school motorcycle with a sidecar and I was told “motorcycles are dangerous… no.”

Of course, without them around it means I can play video games on their computer (of course my kid has the best I could build! I have the laptop that is duct taped at the hinges) until 5am with my hair like Don King and no pants. Why? Because I can. I had cake for dinner. Will I admit any of this? Hell no.

I often wonder if my kid is just a hermit like me, or did I somehow precondition them to be this way. I would like to think since they inherited my intense stubborn streak that they would pretty much do whatever the heck they want. At least, I hope that is the case.

Its moments like this that make me wonder why my kid never takes the initiative to invite anyone over on their own. I have offered the option to having a few friends over on their birthday only to get a look of disgust and a declaration of “I don’t want all those people up in my house.”

When they were much smaller, they only once asked if a friend and their sibling could spend the night. I said sure. I made a list of anything I could think of they could do to keep them occupied until they passed out and tried to stay occupied and out of their way, but still close enough to keep an eye on things.

It was fucking exhausting!

They churned through all my planned activities like robots, then if it wasn’t the friend sticking right to my ass and asking 500 questions, it was the sibling. I tried my best to answer their questions thoughtfully when it was warranted and redirect to the others but finally gave up and just them do their thing.

These two lived with their mom. I had gotten to know their mom pretty well by this point. Their mom was the type that was more interested in finding her next boyfriend than talking to her kids. I finally realized these two were starved for interaction with an adult who interacted back. My irritation fought a lot with my guilt that night.

Sometime around midnight, they all finally crashed. I sat at the kitchen table and as quietly as I could, sipped a cup of coffee. I don’t know if you guys have figured this out by now, but G-uno and I both find coffee our security blanket, closest comrade in arms, dark lover…. I could go on, but it would just get more revolting. Coffee was my go-to to relax is what I’m saying.

At least, I thought they all crashed. My kid crept out of their room as quietly as they could, poured a glass of milk and sat at the table with me and just stared at their glass much like I’d been staring at my mug.

After some minutes of silence, they finally whispered: “Would it be bad if we took them home now?”


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  1. #1 by idioglossiablog on December 7, 2014 - 6:49 pm

    Idioglossia to be sure! I had just posted “Sleeping Naked” when I sat down with my 3rd cup of coffee and up popped the post “pants are optional” by the way a post I completely relate to, my own personality very much kindred to your kid’s personality. 😉 G-uno

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