My homebody lifestyle seems to bug a lot of my friends and family. I get a lot of “you should start dating again.” To which I respond, “Why? My ideal would be doing the same thing I do every weekend… staying home.”
It’s not that I cannot or don’t have a desire to go out. I do, I just have to spend a lot more time recharging from the experience. My kid and I are going to be going to a concert soon. I am pretty sure neither of us will have any desire to go anywhere or do anything else for at least a month. I will likely enjoy it and be glad I did, even the opening band is one we really like, so I have the proper excitement.
However, crowds, lines, loud screaming… all that is enough to put me on edge. Case in point: I was ten when I went to Disney World. I hated it. If I ever have to hear “It’s a small world” again, I am pretty sure I will go postal.
Apparently this completely bewilders the friends around me. I have at least one friend who, if they are not able to get in touch with me by every social media I’m on, text or phone within a certain amount of time, they will show up unannounced at my house. I know they do it partially out of worry, but it just never strikes them to think I might want to completely unplug for an extended period of time. I actually have to tell them I’m doing so just so they won’t show up.
There is nothing that irks me more than having unannounced company. No matter the person, they go on my temporary shit list for some period of time until I get over it or figure out a way to politely express “fuck off.”
I look back though and as a teen I constantly went out. But then I realize I went out to get away from grand and usually to someone else’s house where we talked, watched movies, drove around, or any of the many lame things you can do in a small town that has zero sources of entertainment for the teenage group.
I was pretty hermit-like when I was married, but I had to contend with a lot of really idiotic jealousy if I wasn’t. After marriage, I remember I did all the things it was generally expected to have done in my late teens and early-twenties. I made friends with many of the bouncers and bartenders, some of the local bands, danced a lot, drank a lot, and met and dated and playing around with a lot of people. I don’t remember getting any real enjoyment out of it, but for some reason I couldn’t not do it either. Perhaps, it was out of protest of all the married years of accomodation.
When the playing around slammed me into parenthood and it was quickly left up to just me, the hermit lifestyle came natural again. I wasn’t doing it to accommodate. I wasn’t doing it to protest. I was doing it because my little nest feels comfortable and fun to me. Sprucing up, going out somewhere, having to be completely engaged in your surroundings, which are usually chaos, only to have to come back, clean up, and then chill, it all sounds like a chore to me. Skipping to the end without all the bullshit leading up to it… awesome.
So to my hermitting soulmate who is probably contemplating at the moment, I say “Cheers!”