I’ve been told that “every pot has a lid” for as long as I can remember. I have to say that I’m not a fan of how most people interpret this saying. I think I dislike it because it leaves you with the impression that if you do not have a lid you are somehow incomplete. Society always seems to want to put everything into pairs. For the love of monkeys there are even disparaging songs that say “one is the loneliest number that you’ll ever do.” ( slightly redeemed by “two can be as bad as one”), then right back down the tubes with “it’s the loneliest number since the number one!”
I firmly believe that since the world has been adequately populated for sometime now, it might be time to stop pushing the pot & lid notion. Tonight my daughter, and her best friend since middle school were at our home for our traditional before Christmas dinner (something we have done for years), and this beautiful intelligent young woman of 26, remarked that she would probably end up as “the lonely cat lady,” something my own single at 39-year-old sister has also stated on more than one occasion. I have even heard some of the young men who visit our home express some concern on this topic.
Otherwise well-meaning people make remarks like “your so pretty I don’t know why you haven’t found someone, do you think you may be too particular?, I can’t understand why your still single…” Statements that perpetuate the feeling that something must be wrong with you since your pot doesn’t have a lid! To make matters worse, single people themselves are starting to question why some really great person they’ve met is still single! “I wonder what’s wrong with him/her?” Something very similar to the “Why don’t you have kids?” syndrome.
I personally subscribe to the theory that not everyone wants a life partner (or to have children), and allowing someone to spend years feeling like something is wrong with them is just insane! I know your thinking, but what about those people who do want a lid to their pot? The people who want to have kids, and may never have them. I of course can not speak for everyone on this subject, although I think a great many people confuse personal desires with the notion that these are the only right options for having a happy, or complete life. I think there are many ways to pursue happiness. Along our personal paths we may not always find our hearts desire, but it’s heartbreaking to think that you have to have a lid for your pot in order to qualify as being happy, or complete. I know for certain some extraordinary things have been cooked up in pots without lids. 😉