on the 3rd day til christmas (g2)

I’m having one of those moments where I thought I totally had my shit together this year only to find out upon digging out the stockings, that they are so shredded anything put in them will fall right out, and the stocking fall apart. I wish I could borrow G-uno’s Magical Vagina ™ for the next few days at this rate. I have not even one stuffer ready.

I had a list. I had a plan. I had some stuff I wanted to make because apparently I am the only one who still knows how to make the few things grand used to make that anyone actually liked. I have an uncle who has been treated like a massive pile of shit for the past thirty years, so he especially I wanted to send some of these things that he misses so much from his parents. This will not be done until the holidays are over.

I gave the kid a list of stuff to get done, once they started on their steps, I could come behind and finish what I needed to do. Over the past few years, I’ve noticed my kid and their stuff is slowly choking out everything else. I’ve become gridlocked by their subconscious need to dominate the entire house with their territorial pissings. My room was first on the list to purge any remnant or shred in which they’d made themselves too comfortable. We are both only children. We both have to have places that is just ours. I haven’t had such a place in a few years and apparently it is starting to really rake on my nerves.

My list? Didn’t fucking happen. Not a thing.

I’m sure there is some psychological reasoning in which children go through this need to dominate in various ways as a way of making noise, being acknowledged, growing up and establishing their worth… whatever. And constructively, I’m fine with that. But I figure if two people live in a place, one is taking over and its the other doing the chores, the cooking and the bill paying, something is really fucking wrong. I am not down with the parenting that allows a kid to just fuck off and do whatever their imagination desires without having some practicality and responsibility in the mix.

Now, spawn DID want to sell of their old toys in order to have some spending money for the holidays. We have sold exactly ONE set of toys. ONE. I was fine with setting up listings, all they had to do was take pictures…

Not a single picture has been taken since the one. And considering one of the things on kid’s list is a somewhat large piece of furniture they currently have no room to place, this is especially frustrating for me. Grand was a massive packrat. Kid would love to be a packrat. I toss anything I’m tired of looking at whenever I think about it. I donate at least one box every season. I don’t let clothes that have been grown out of sit around. I think I already have too much stuff. Kid’s room is a tiny, so real estate has to be planned with the precision of a Tetris ace.

When did I get so far off topic from stockings?

I think its the hives I get when I think of having to purchase yet more crap to occupy space we don’t really have. That and I always spend too much. I try to make the kid’s holidays magical every year, but it always fights with my mentality of “why am I buying all this space-hogging crap?” I’ve noticed I have migrated to more consumable items, so I can ensure they will go away much faster. Hell, a Steam gift card would be awesome as far as I am concerned.. no packaging!

I guess this turned into a rant, my apologies. But then I guess this is as good a place to vent as any, and you’re more than welcome to join in. As I’m slogging my way through that mass-produced store after work today, on my way to replace our deteriorated stockings (my feet had nothing to do with it!) and then find bits of awesome to fill it, whilst fighting off all the other procrastinators of the holiday season, and try to spell “BITCHES” or “HOEZ” with the monogrammed items to take pictures of for the Christmas albums…. I will thoroughly itemize all the things I hate about Christmas.

They begin as such:

-Too much stuff

-Not enough time off

-Not enough pleasant family face time (I know, I’m asking a lot here)

-Too much money

-Not enough tangible spread of donations for families in need. Meaning, after seeing a Lexus SUV drive up and qualify for a hefty load of donated toys (yes, for themselves), my faith in the screening system for most charities went out the window.

– Too many mindless crowds

– Not enough stillness.

– Not enough smiling at strangers.

– Not enough pimped out houses synchronized to “Wizards in Winter”

– Not enough snow days

– Too much work

What’s on your hate list this holiday season?


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  1. #1 by idioglossiablog on December 23, 2014 - 12:30 am

    I can only say there must have been something in the air today. I don’t mind sharing the magical vagina, but the bitch is seriously lacking this month. She is two seconds away from a pink slip I swear! 😉

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