Little Man’s Christmas Tree Fiasco (G-uno)

This morning I arrive at Little Man’s house promptly at seven. As I get out of my car I see their Christmas tree sticking out of the front door tree top first! I hear the usually soft-spoken Dad shouting at the top of his lungs that Christmas is canceled! I reluctantly approach the front door, I can see Little Man, Big Brother, and the Baby red-faced with tears streaming down their cheeks. Dad is furious, something I personally have never experienced before. He looks up at me and says ” I’m done Christmas is canceled, not a one of them deserves a single thing!”

Dad then drags the Christmas Tree the rest of the way out the door, and throws it (decorations, lights and all) onto the front lawn next to the garbage can. Without even saying another word he jumps into his car,and speeds out of the driveway. I sheepishly wave to the neighbor (who is starring in complete disbelief), then I go into the house to find out what has just happened.

The boys are now accusing each other sobbing, and equally as shocked as I was to see their Dad so upset I sit them down, wipe their little faces. I tell them we will try to fix their tree, and sort this situation out. Apparently Little Man and Big Brother were having a knock down drag out fight in the kitchen that resulted in the pancake griddle being dragged off the counter along with a bowl of pancake batter. The bowl shatters, the batter splatters, and Dad is covered in the sticky wet mess. Dad is rushing to try to clean up this mess. He asks the boys to keep out of the kitchen while he runs upstairs to redress for work. He is covered in sticky batter from head to toe running up the stairs to change, he slips knocking family photos down from the wall scattering glass everywhere!

The boys at this point had resumed their knock down drag out fight chasing each other around the staircase. Big Brother falls knocking over a side table which shatters Mom’s favorite lamp, his foot was caught in an extension cord that the Christmas tree had been plugged into, and down falls their live fully decorated Christmas tree! Dad places all three boys on the couch forbidding anyone to move. He runs up the stairs changes his clothes (according to Little Man using upset words the entire time), comes back down the stairs and this was the point where I showed up as the tree was about to be placed next to the garbage can outside.

Dad called Mom explaining that he had left me with the whole fiasco unsettled. Mom was mortified, apologizing profusely for the husband, kids, and condition of the house distressed to the point of tears. I assure her that we are all just fine, and very capable of taking care of the situation. So in nine hours time the boys and I manage to clean up the entire mess. We even retrieved the Christmas tree from the front yard. We brought it back inside redecorated the tree. I fed the boys, had them take their baths, and put on their pajamas. The four of us were completely exhausted sitting on the couch admiring all that we had accomplished when Little Man looks over at me, and says “I know we are on the Naughty List, but do you think Christmas is still canceled?” 😉

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  1. #1 by blahpolar on December 24, 2014 - 6:09 am

    Jeez what a palaver – hopefully funny in hindsight some time in the future.

  2. #2 by g2 on December 24, 2014 - 3:41 pm

    I’ve been that pissed. I meant every single word of it too. My bb (best buddy) calls it “releasing the kraken.” Nothing could be more accurate. and afterwords you always feel like the most grade A dick. Oh man, I feel dad’s pain though. G-uno, you are epic among even the epic.

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