confessions of a bad parent: sex talks (g2)

My explanations of things posed by my kid tend to get long-winded if left unchecked (ha! like you guys haven’t already figured that out!) so I have to really give serious thought on how to condense things when posed questions. One of which was the mechanics of sex.

By age six, my kid understood that “sex” could happen between both hetero as well as gay/lesbian couples, but it was an abstract concept. So with about 5 minutes before we have to walk out the door to start our day, my kid questions me about the mechanics.

I pause to figure out how I can possibly break this down in simple terms, I look around… ah.

me:”Ok, let’s start with the basic boy-girl concept, ok? You know how you can hammer a nail in the wall?”

spawn:”yeeeeaaah?”

me:”Boys are the nail, girls are the hole in the wall.”

spawn has a look of sheer horror at this point.

me:”um, but its ok, its not like the boy has to put the hole there, its already…. you know,…. there…..”

spawn:…

me:”just get in the car.”

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