conversations with spawn (g2)

Today is President’s day and like all other obscure fucking holidays, school is out for the day. As a test of self-management and responsibility, I left spawn at home with a list of things to accomplish before I get home. I’m testing the waters.

That said, I realize that trying to explain our conversations to outsiders is cumbersome at best, no one gets it and we really are all over the place but they tend to get damn funny. It is rare that I get a chance to document them in writing so others have a better understanding of how we interact. SO, I am pasting in part of our chat log that has been going on as they have been “cleaning” the house today. If it gets better, I may post more.

spawn: Are ye getting worried? 

me: nah. only that I will come home to the same mess
spawn: Ahole. …i didn’t cuss, I spelled ‘a hole’.
me: i’ll show you a hole 
spawn: Same here 
spawn: Its not a hole. Hah. 
me: came from one
spawn: I don’t want a sibling.
me: you think of siblings when you see turds?
spawn: They look exactly like one when the’re born.
me: nah more like toothless screaming molerats 
spawn: That too.
me: nothing alike, though if the drugs are too good, you poop too
spawn: Now stop distracting me, gotta get to cleaning or else the devil might kill meh.
me: you’ve been in the south too long
spawn: You’ve been weird to long. Now hush. Ill mess around with your desk and place things in better spots. I miss you so much that apparently I mistake the dryer for your occasional sniffling.
me: just leave my porn collection where I left it.

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  1. conversations with spawn, part 2 (g2) | idioglossia: the blog

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