When Your Soul Cries (G-uno)

idioglossia: the blog

For those of us who have experienced deep bouts of depression listening to someone else describe it sends a panicked wave throughout our bodies. For me it’s almost like stepping into someone else’s thoughts almost the same sensation you get when you stand on the edge of a cliff. Logically you know if you just stand still, or back up you won’t fall but there is this undeniable feeling that there is always the possibility of slipping.

Truth be told it terrifies me to know that the possibility of of slipping is always looming somewhere in the back of my existence. I think there may have been many times in the beginning before I actually admitted to myself something was horribly different about this kind of sadness, that I would just try to dismiss the overwhelming weight of this feeling. The usual justifications- I’m just over worked, I might be…

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  1. #1 by blahpolar on March 7, 2015 - 2:13 pm

    Wow I love this, it’s so accurate:

    I’ve heard other people who quite obviously have never experienced true depression say things like-shake it off, you just need better coping skills, how nice for you to be able to just check out when things get tough, get a grip, pull it together… I liken this to people who have never had sex trying to explain what it’s like to those of us who have had sex. You can have the mechanics of the act visualized in your mind, but it is in no way the same thing.

    • #2 by idioglossiablog on March 7, 2015 - 2:17 pm

      I love the good intentions that come from loving well meaning individuals, but it’s like a bandage for something that requires surgery. 😉

      • #3 by blahpolar on March 7, 2015 - 2:20 pm

        And that’s another great way to put it.

  2. #4 by g2 on March 9, 2015 - 1:55 am

    I think there is something to be said for even being able to identify that you’re in the midst of it. Depression itself is such a familiar entity in my life, there are many times I have missed when it decided to settle in and stay for a while. I love it when people recommend vitamins when you try to explain it though… or rest.

    “You just need a good night’s sleep and some exercise!”

    “no, actually I slept over 14 hours yesterday and could have gone right back and slept more, I take vitamins every day and I work in movement when I can, but not right now, I doubt I could muster up concern if you died a violent death right now”

    “…”

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