Well Egg On My Face! (G-uno)

There are just some people who we just don’t like. I have a more than average tolerance for most people, but on the occasion when that person comes along that I absolutely would rather drink from the toilet rather than associate with them I just let them know. This practice is not as warmly accepted as you might think.

I would never purposely go out of my way to hurt anyone, but I have one of those faces that other poker players would love to have sitting at their table. My face hides absolutely nothing! I have had my sister, and children rolling on the floor in hysterical laughter after declaring that I felt I had successfully concealed my dislike for a certain individual. Now you see in my mind I know that I have been successful by not saying exactly what was going through my mind during a conversation.

The problem is my facial expression that (without my permission) always seems to convey the look of why are you so stupid, please get away from me, just shut the fuck up, or oh my God somebody please shoot me now. So you see my problem is that I always think my facial expression is matching my earnest attempt to be polite when in actuality it is not! So once this was pointed out to me I just decided the best policy was to be honest.

I have a neighbor who I know for a fact dislikes me as much as I dislike him. I decided one day while we were in the middle of one of our pretend to be nice fake banter sessions to just stop the nonsense. I told him that I knew he did not like me, and that I know he knew that I did not like him. I followed this with listen we are neighbors if I have anything you need to borrow, or if you need help you can count on me. I have no problem with that kind of interaction. Then I said “Please just don’t make me smile like a jack-ass, and pretend to like you every time we see each other.”

Now in my little world I believed that he had felt the same sense of relief that I had felt by just putting this out on the table in what I perceived to be a very polite, progressive conversation. Then I got a call from another neighbor who said ” I just had a conversation with so and so, he told me that you said you didn’t like him. So I reassured him that I’m sure that was not what you meant at all.” I responded by saying ย No he was correct I did tell him that I don’t like him, and proceeded to tell her the rest of our conversation. To which she replied in her very southern accent “Well egg on my face!”

Moral of this little story is that everyone says honesty is the best policy, but it clearly is not always the truth. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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  1. #1 by blahpolar on March 18, 2015 - 1:38 pm

    You are my hero for this:

    โ€œPlease just donโ€™t make me smile like a jack-ass, and pretend to like you every time we see each other.โ€

    I admire that kind of honesty, it only ever stings briefly compared to potential long term betrayals of … something or other. I’ve learned to say no thank you with either no additions, or ‘I don’t want to’ to invitations. That’s as far as my recovery goes. I shall learn at thy feet etc etc.

    • #2 by idioglossiablog on March 18, 2015 - 4:00 pm

      LOL It all seemed like such a good solution to me. ๐Ÿ˜‰ I like no thanks, and I also appreciate I don’t want to. In this case I’m bewildered by the idea that he felt stung, as I know for a fact he does not like me either. It’s not like I called him a jack-ass. ๐Ÿ˜‰ G-uno

      • #3 by blahpolar on March 18, 2015 - 5:13 pm

        Lol! People here what they wanna hear – he really does sound like a jackass btw.

  2. #5 by g2 on March 18, 2015 - 2:38 pm

    How funny… I can’t hide my disdain for some people either, so I stopped trying. Maybe the world isn’t entirely ready for this level of honesty, but I think it sorely needs it. You did it with blunt politeness too, there’s a difference. Doing it out of spite, doing it for sheer meanness, doing it to hurt another… that’s a different thing entirely.

    BP, you are most definitely correct about our ambiguous (dis)honesty. I have seen all too often where someone at the end of breakup will get very irritated about “no closure” and have this weird need for a “final” conversation with someone who didn’t work out and who decided to fade out without another word (the usual more “polite” method of dumping for cowards, it seems).

    Deep down we know seeking “closure” will only cause us grief, but I suspect those most bothered by it have this hidden hope that a final conversation might spark the interest that had been previously nonexistent or minimal. An honest of statement of “I just don’t see us together” or “I don’t feel we are compatible, but wish you the best.” Sure, it sucks to have to tell people you’re not into them, but it certainly helps them cut ties and move on faster without wasting both of your time with unnecessary drama.

    Just don’t do like I do, I tend to fail at the polite element. My last run-in was with someone who wanted to get serious and I think my words were “You have personality issues that I would never consider for a long-term relationship. Sorry.” They felt the need to press the issue for whatever reason about what flaws I was referring to…

    I gave them a list… with examples… and suggestions on how to get help to improve them… professionally.

    “hey, you work on those areas, your life will turn stellar… but yeah, still not with me. Good luck!”

    I’m awful.

  3. #6 by idioglossiablog on March 18, 2015 - 4:08 pm

    My intention was to help us both benefit. I will never understand why he brought this up to the other neighbor, but I will admit after I retold this story to my family they did laugh at me. There’s just no pleasing some folks. ๐Ÿ˜‰ G-uno

    • #7 by g2 on March 18, 2015 - 5:29 pm

      Twisting the story to make himself the victim gave some support to his reasoning for not liking you. It served as “proof” for him, that’s all. For some reason, we cannot seem to help wanting company in our dislikes of others.

      Why do bullies always seem to want a sidekick or three?

      It certainly means you’re thoroughly justified in the “prick” statement at least. I can’t stand him already ;P

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