Vanity Profanity (G-uno)

Staring at yourself in a magnified mirror is completely different kind of self-examination, something I don’t recommend to the faint of heart. It’s a quest better left to those who have been impeccably diligent with their vanity. I am impeccably diligent when it comes to hygiene, but I fail miserably short in regards to personal vanity. Yesterday I went to my stylist to get a much-needed haircut, as I sat there I began to listen to all of the other women talking about their personal beauty regimes.

These women were hardcore about their beauty regiments. So I began to look very closely at them, and they were all very attractive. They were devoted to maintaining a youthful look. They were having their gray hair dyed, their finger, and toenails manicured. Waxing any, and all signs of hair that didn’t belong, all the while discussing how they were keeping up with their calorie intake. I looked up at my stylist who has been my good friend for almost 30 years, and she was grinning at me in the mirror.

As my longtime friend she knows that my beauty regime consists of showering, shampooing/conditioning my hair, and brushing my teeth. I do use Oil of Olay facial  cream with sunscreen,something I started a couple of years ago when I noticed some darker spots on my face. Particularly one that had shown up between my eyebrows and made me look like I had a third eye.I have never had my nails done because the idea of having someone do them kind of freaks me out. I haven’t worn make-up since high-school because I hate the way it makes my face feel. I do wear a little mascara, blush,and lipstick, but that’s not something I do on a daily basis. She knows all of this about me so watching me stare down the other women in her shop is very amusing to her.

Then one of the women who had noticed I wasn’t weighing in looked up at me, and asked me about my regime smirking at the other women as she asked. It was quite obvious that I was the odd woman out in this group. She seemed to find herself, and the other women to be superior to me in this aspect. I smiled at her, and told her truthfully my routine. All of the women looked back, and forth at each other with a look of disbelief as though they could not imagine that I felt no embarrassment by my minimal regime.

The truth is that I will be turning 51 this June. My hair has just recently started to gray. I have developed some fine lines around my eyes, and my mouth. My skin has developed some darker spots and freckles from years of playing in the sun. My skin is a little dryer, and it’s less toned than it use to be. I’m not sure why this does not bother me more, but it just doesn’t. I am fluffy for my height. This is something that does bother me. I actually am a very healthy eater with excellent blood work. My problem is that I eat more calories than I physically burn off. I am working on being more respectful of my portion sizes, and I am exercising more these days.

I have no problem with anyone else’s choices to enhance themselves in any way that makes them feel better about themselves. I like the way I look even though I’m not rocking Jennifer Aniston’s incredible figure. Mostly I like who I have become over the last 50 years. 😉


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  1. #1 by blahpolar on April 16, 2015 - 2:19 pm

    Lol @ beauty regiments. I’m getting ugly troops asap.

    • #2 by idioglossiablog on April 16, 2015 - 2:34 pm

      These were some seriously hardcore women. One even asked me if I thought I should make more effort to please my husband! LOL

      • #3 by blahpolar on April 16, 2015 - 2:35 pm

        Good lord lol – what did you say?

        • #4 by idioglossiablog on April 16, 2015 - 2:37 pm

          I told her it was unnecessary because I possess a magical vagina LOL

          • #5 by blahpolar on April 16, 2015 - 3:22 pm

            Did she faint? Also, kindly saunter along to YouTube at some point and play Storm Large – 8 Miles Wide.

          • #6 by idioglossiablog on April 16, 2015 - 3:28 pm

            No fainting lol but that was the end of our conversation. My humor escapes some people 😉 I may be an acquired taste… Too much? I will check out YouTube.

  2. #7 by Bugsmetwo on April 16, 2015 - 3:05 pm

    Good for you being secure in your own skin!

    • #8 by idioglossiablog on April 16, 2015 - 3:09 pm

      LOL She caught me a little off guard with her question. I may have done the same to her as she dropped the subject 😉 Thanks for the support!

  3. #9 by idioglossiablog on April 16, 2015 - 3:38 pm

    BP I just got done viewing the YouTube link. I’m not sure who is worse, you, or me? Absolutely hilarious! Thanks for the laugh. G-uno

  4. #10 by Kitt O'Malley on April 16, 2015 - 7:54 pm

    Welcome to 51. Great age to be.

    • #11 by idioglossiablog on April 16, 2015 - 8:08 pm

      Thank you so much! I have to say life at this age comes with an entirely new perspective. It’s funny how the view changes with each decade. G-uno

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