nothing turns me off faster than christian sex talk (g2)

I don’t know why I do this to myself, but I was reading this article about Louisiana trying to find a balance between religious freedom and gay marriage. Of course, they are trying to condense both into one law…The problem I see right off is that basically it seems to say “sure we’ll let gays marry, but in turn we won’t hold anyone responsible for their actions when based on ‘religious reasons.'”

Please tell me I’m not the only one who sees the loophole for abuse here. Its not even a matter of businesses denying service to gay patrons… we’re talking the south. This is where a black man was killed by being drug behind a vehicle, not just in the 50’s… but as recently as 1998. In Mississippi (shocker) lynch mobs are still a thing… female ones… How’s that for progress in sexism?


This is like giving license to backwoods, inbred fuckheads to harass, assault, beat, and kill anyone else they don’t agree with for… religious reasons.

‘Religious reasons’ in the south generally boils down to some stranger believing they have the right to dictate another stranger’s preferences or choices because they deem themselves more devout than the one being judged. It also includes the one who wants to do all this dictating being bitterly offended by someone who has absolutely no fucking direct contact or influence on their personal life. Example:

Bubba-Jay, most likely first cousins with his third wife, Beulah (mother of welfare kids 5-8), both from Bumfuck, Loussippisaw for 15 generations… sit down to their TV dinners and the magic picture box and listen to a guy named Gebidiah (the G makes it look more French) in another city in Loussippisaw talk about how he and his partner of fifteen years want to be recognized in the eyes of the law by getting married.

Not God, the law. Marriage, in and of itself, is a contract… falls under tort law. Nothing more. Anything aside from this one point is mythical unicorn farts. It means nothing, Its not a religious question.

But dammit, Bubba-Jay is raging pissed about all this. Maybe he can’t read good, but he can throw down some serious “Thuh Good Book” blurbs because he’s had this shit beaten into his head since he was a baby and having to convulse out the demons and prove his purity through snake wrangling.

He probably didn’t hear it from his preacher/pastor or actually read or research any of it himself ever, but that don’t mean no never mind. He is a devout child of Gawd, his King James (the sexist bigot that he is…and just a translator, subject to um… INTERPRETATION) bible among his most prized possessions.

B-J has never been so raging mad. He feels like the sanctity of all that is healthy and precious in this world is being challenged by this loathsome thought of letting two people of the same gender, that are of legal age and sound mind, to be able to sign a damn piece of paper that says their shit is mutually owned by both of them.

Those motherfuckers.

Now how does any of this affect the daily life of Bubba-Jay?

It wouldn’t. So what does B-J fear about it so much?

Maybe Bubba-Jay, like so many others of the devout flock, feel this is a slippery slope to a world where marrying that sheep he committed an unspeakable act (or 87) with during one (or 10) especially lonely winters, might actually one day be legal.

Or even scarier, maybe Bubba-Jay is scared that gay marriage will lessen the stigma that might allow his 8-year-old, Kleetus, to be legally married off to his 27-year-old unmarried second cousin, twice-removed from his step-brother’s aunt’s side who has a really bad habit of constantly following the kid around.  In B-J’s mind, pedophilia is all the fault of gays, anything… like facts… that would tell him that most pedophiles are white males, heterosexual, many in normal relationships with normal intelligence who usually prey on members of their own family or close social circles… would just seem like homosexual propaganda. Or aliens.

You know how those aliens like to probe the fuck out of the south right?

Tinfoil hat anyone?

So let’s sum this up. if Gebidiah has never met B-J and they will likely never cross paths even though they live in the same state, in what way would G’s marriage adversely affect B-J’s life?

It wouldn’t.

It would be more beneficial to society as a whole had Bubba-Jay got his ass sterilized from the very beginning, since stupidity affects all of us. There is nothing more destructive than an ignorant, idiotic, violently and crazily obsessed person who wields religion as weapon to regulate others. But that destructive force is breeding and teaching that hate to their next batch of offspring.

There’s been no wars fought over gayness.

It’s the same with abortion. I have known, seen and understood many of the times when abortion is considered an option, though less so followed through. There was a very brief consideration of the same when it came to Spawn. It’s not a fucking easy thing to do at all and I’m glad we didn’t go through with it, but some of the bullshit videos and propaganda the religious acquaintances on my social media try to spread around are such obvious demonizations created by a group of people who are completely out of touch with how to empathize with others or understand anyone outside of their own situations. They look as out of touch with reality to me as Gwyneth Paltrow giving suggestions on being frugal and creative.

But god, I love when the religious devout, the loudmouths, the ones most assured of their own grandeur… talk sex. Just peruse the comments on that first article to understand what I mean, I undoubtedly hear it every time there is a religious argument. Sanctity, union, wholesome, traditional, grass roots….

They sound like the most boring fuckers I’ve ever heard in my entire life.

Fornicate…. what the hell is that? Sounds like something you smear on an STD.

I get they are trying to make it sound so damn holy and spiritual but all I can picture is:


Don’t laugh, if I don’t laugh he’ll finish and
leave. Dude, really?

Or even better

Wrap it up

If you can’t find the words… find a light up sign to make your point.

I tried to find one of an equally bored man but the below is as close as I got.

So, you wanna fornicate in the sanctity of my private chamber under the blessed eyes of the Lord?

Really? That killed the mood for you? I cannot fathom why.


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  1. #1 by blahpolar on April 17, 2015 - 10:04 am

    Fornicate sounds so old testament too. They just fornicate to beget and once they’ve begat, they pack some sandwiches and go forth (verily) to smite homosexuals. Love the sinner, hate the sin and all that fecking shite. Can we go bomb the Westboro baptists now pliz?

  2. #2 by idioglossiablog on April 17, 2015 - 11:10 am

    In the words of my beloved Ron White “You can’t fix stupid!” The sad part is that it’s always the extreme radical people with self-serving agendas who dirty up the reputation of other good people who peacefully, and without judgement of others practice their faith. G-uno

  3. #3 by g2 on April 17, 2015 - 12:48 pm

    Most certainly. I’m really not trying to compartmentalize the religious, but the ones who seem to be most vocal on this point are the ones who just seem like they fell off B-J’s extensive tree. They love to attack 1.homosexuality and

    Most of those religious in my own life speak from a platform of acceptance and love, even if homosexuality itself baffles them or they personally do not support pro-choice. They know they are different and their circumstances are different. They are the quiet masses who shake their heads and want nothing to do with the vocal ranting.

    I have one in particular though, who I suspect hides behind this veil of trying to understand contrary views, but seems to “share” an awful lot of exclusionary and hostile propaganda as “interesting.” Which of course tells me not only is he secretly a B-J, he’s smart enough to know he’s being a dick and is just a coward and won’t own it. It kind of sickens me he is a youth pastor.

    Westboros especially are… it has taken me a lot to be able to not wish napalm on them…and ironically, they LOVE it when they anger you, they want to rile us and get us frothy, that’s really their goal. Which is probably why some of the most successful counter-demonstrations have been the ones that politely blocked them from their goal or made fun of them. Its as though they are baffled by people who can show up en masse and simply express “we don’t want you here” and not get violent about it.

    • #4 by idioglossiablog on April 17, 2015 - 1:04 pm

      We have all recently been groomed to spew out nothing but political correctness. I think that this concept comes with the dangers associated with secrecy. When we live in fear of saying what we believe we create a kind of subculture alliance. A breeding ground that can give birth to the B-Js of the world. My favorite thing about you is your willingness to speak out about the things that offend you. It’s a rare quality in today’s world. We share a lot of raw truth in our posts even at the risk of violating political correctness. The double edge sword here is that in order to retain our freedom of speech we have to endure the dicks and cowards of the world’s right to the same freedom.

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