I have been on auto-pilot for so long that I almost forgot what it takes to rejoin the land of the living. I have laid awake night after night filled with anxiety over all the things that need to be done. It’s almost like someone had shot me in the neck with some poisonous dart that paralyzed every part of me. Only leaving just enough of my brain to worry,and agonize. A dart so poisonous that it actually incapacitated the once awesome “Magical Vagina,” as if menopause needs another collaborator in that department.
When you lose something you have a couple of choices on how to retrieve what’s been lost. You can try to retrace your steps in search of where you last remember having what was lost. If you actually remember where you lost something you can see if there is a lost & found department to search. You might even enlist the help of your friends to help you look. The point being that you have the capability of knowing where & how to begin. When you have lost yourself the search is a little trickier.
My loved one who was actually physically incapacitated, (No,not by a poisonous dart!) woke up every single day, and found a way to face his life with a sense of purpose. He did not live in the past. He did not live in the future. He lived mindfully in the moment. When he was lost he did not go in search of himself, he simply started over. Like “Nike” he just did it! He was a total bad-ass. Which makes it pretty impossible for me to spend any more time feeling sorry for myself.
So this morning I woke up pulled the poisonous dart out of my neck, and made my husband’s lunch. I drank my coffee while I washed my car. Then I did my dishes, took a shower, and went to work. I took my Mom shopping, paid the bills, ordered flowers for my loved one, and cooked dinner. I accomplished all of this with one thought in my mind. Who shot me in the neck with that poisonous dart? 😉