My husband’s boss has been married four times, and is currently having an affair with another woman. His big question for my husband was how can you only sleep with just one woman? Monogamy is actually the easiest part of being married for both my husband, and myself. I think the fact that we have always had a strong sexual connection has a great deal to do with this. Combine that chemistry with over three decades of friendship, and the fact that we both know that the other would walk away without ever looking back are also major contributing factors.
I liked my husband’s answer the best. He told his boss that the idea of losing our relationship, or hurting me that deeply was just not something he wanted to risk. I couldn’t have defined that any better. What his boss perceives as boring is the very part that brings us deep excitement. The bond of knowing that someone is committed to you that deeply is highly erotic. To understand how to touch another person in the exact way that their body is incapable of controlling its own passion is a form of expression that has no comparison.
I think it also helps to have the understanding that infidelity can happen to anyone at anytime. No couple is exempt from this possibility. This concept helps you not to take the other person for granted. I find my husband to be extremely attractive. I make it a point to make sure he knows that I feel this way, and he does the same for me. Complacency is the enemy. I know sometimes your just exhausted from the demands of our everyday lives, and it’s not always possible to make grand gestures. I also think that it’s the smaller more subtle gestures that can be equally as powerful. Something as simple as curling up next to your person, holding them close while reminding them how much better life is because you can end your day with them beside you.
I think every relationship has its own unique bond, but I do believe there are some commonalities that we all share in discovering the depths of sexual intensity. Listen without making assumptions, always touch each other as much as possible, stick to your agreements, try new things, be truthful, use direct eye contact when you talk to one another, and always choose love over ego.