Inlaws or Outlaws? (G-uno)

I’m beginning to wonder if we are dealing with some mental impairment that we are unaware of, or if our daughter’s future MIL simply enjoys stirring up drama. Maybe it’s even some deep down old fashion jealousy, but poor baby girl has her hands full with this soon-to-be MIL! Future MIL is single so the kids try to make it a point to invite her over for dinner a couple of times a month.

Last night started off on a bad foot anyways (some pun intended here ๐Ÿ˜‰ ) because future MIL who does not allow anyone to wear their shoes inside of her home insists on keeping her shoes on when she visits the kids. Did I mention the kids have a sign hanging on the door politely requesting that shoes be removed upon entering? A sign that was placed in hopes of not having to ask for the same respect that is not so politely demanded by the MIL at her home.

Our daughter knows that this is a passive aggressive act directed primarily towards her so when the MIL remarked that her shoes were just too difficult to remove, our baby girl smiled politely meanwhile envisioning prancing through MIL’s home with her most difficult “strappies”. Then it happened again! MIL who was told directly at the last dinner that the kids do not want to buy a home with a MIL suite on grounds. That they did not want to have anyone living with them other than their own offspring looks them both in the face, and announces again that they need to purchase a home with a MIL suite!

My poor future son-in-law looks directly back at his Mother, and firmly replies ” As we said before Mom that is not something we want.” MIL then stares him right in the face, and says ” Is that something you don’t want, or is that something she doesn’t want?” Well folks that’s the point where our baby girl jumps up looks MIL straight in the eyes, and replies “That’s something I don’t want!” Then future son-in-law stands next to baby girl, and says “We Mom, we.” Just when you think you could not possibly be any prouder of both young adults, they move to a much gentler tone explaining that it is not personal. That they would not want anyone else to live with them. That even if they were not just beginning their lives together, that this is how they are choosing to live their lives.

I’m not sure which part of the way they chose to handle this most difficult decision together makes me the proudest. Our daughter’s instinct to protect our future son-in-law, or her inner strength to stand up for her choices in life. Our future son’s ability to stand up for his future wife under the worst ย possible scenario, of being forced to settle a difference between the two most important women in his life. Their firm, but compassionate way of dealing with MIL. It’s simply impossible to choose. ๐Ÿ˜‰


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  1. #1 by La Sabrosona on August 27, 2015 - 7:45 pm

    You did good; raising a daughter who asserts herself and does not let future mil to intimidate her. Awesome ๐Ÿ™‚

    • #2 by idioglossiablog on August 27, 2015 - 7:47 pm

      Thank you. Sometimes I think she just emerged from the heavens that way. ๐Ÿ˜‰ G-uno

      • #3 by La Sabrosona on August 27, 2015 - 7:48 pm

        Haha. Well thank heavens then :))

  2. #5 by elementhealing on August 27, 2015 - 8:41 pm

    Well handled, it seems the MIL is having difficulty letting go.

    • #6 by idioglossiablog on August 27, 2015 - 9:50 pm

      That is a very good observation. I really don’t know her very well. I do know that she has raised someone who I am extremely proud to call my other son. G-uno

  3. #7 by g2 on September 2, 2015 - 5:02 pm

    I think you’re on to the letting go; but it makes me wonder why the heck was she so ready to push him out before? Is being single being a slacker, but getting married is “being taken away?”

    Is she really in such an all-fired hurry to have someone take care of her? Does he have a huge debt she wants a crutch for? Does she think this will insure her grandchildren will be raised “her way?”

    I hate to say it, but at least take the fact she wants to live with them as a compliment. It means that is her favorite child and maybe perhaps she also likes your daughter. That is a pretty huge thing to want to do, with anyone.

    But then, I’m not sure if has other children? Perhaps suggesting she should be looking for a MIL annex for her own mother might drive the point she need not be packing.

  4. #8 by idioglossiablog on September 2, 2015 - 5:10 pm

    She has another older son and a daughter. They are a little less understanding when it comes to her issues. She’s looking for a less expensive retirement, and a false sense of entitlement. G-uno

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