g2, where the friggin hell have you been? oh Kanye, STFU. – g2

I suck right?

Yeah ok, so I’ve been on hiatus longer than I thought. Mostly, we had lightning hit my computer that I normally type from and although it didn’t take me long to order replacement parts, I have not been able to get the new machine up and running. I think I have a dead motherboard, but my stubbornness in admitting that has exceeded the free 30-day return period. In fact, it’s still dysfunctional and I’m having one of those emotional periods where I question my life choices and if my tech skills are even worthy of operating a fork.

It was one of those periods where everything I was trying to fix was turning to shit, no matter how small (mending a pair of Spawn’s pants, I almost stitched the waistline closed). Its usually during these periods when some astrological-loving soul tells me “Oh, Mercury is in retrograde, you stupid twin, it’s no wonder.”

I have never really understood what that means, I just know that for whatever reason it seems like all my daily tasks are under the added pressure of doing them in hardening concrete and later on I find out that particular period of time aligned with such a strange planetary event. Not saying I buy it, but it’s been often enough to raise an eyebrow.

When I have these sluggish periods of incompetency, I know that the only resolution is to walk away. If I don’t, something will get snapped in half, electrocuted or thrown at a wall. I have little patience when little things don’t work out the way even laws of physics tells us they do 100% of the time, but I… apparently my presence alone is enough to make all that fact bullshit optional.

Of course, this particular time that was not the case, I looked it up. Apparently its coming soon, which makes me… oh, so thrilled. Living under a rock seems a bit tempting right now. I’m sure it’d get hit by lightning though.

I tried to keep up posts on my phone. I’m not sure if it’s due to my age, but that didn’t last long. My prior post about needing a good cry?… yeah, wrote that over the course of four days, three weeks ago. I have no clue how to post a draft on the WordPress app either apparently. Computers I get, cellphones… hell no. I don’t know why, but there is something about them that I have a block on. Maybe its my general detestation of phones in general.

Typing paragraphs into a phone is just maddening. I have no idea how the generations after me seem to be able to give a stenographer a run for their money with just thumbs on a glitchy virtual keyboard. How the hell do they do that?!?!? You’d think they would rank supreme if it ever came to finding and manipulating g-spots. Do they have competitions for that? I know they do for the typing, but that other would be interesting.

I managed to finally get one of the many things on my “to fix” list completed yesterday. A video game didn’t like the new video card and monitor settings on Spawn’s machine, and four weeks of troubleshooting were getting me nowhere. I finally had an epiphany… a simple tweak in a file I’d failed to realize might be the issue and voila! That’s usually the sign I need to know I can start fixing bigger problems.

I wonder if begging for mercy would get me a motherboard replacement without the additional expense…

When I am doing the mind-numbing task of:1.change something; 2.start up broken thing and check if fixed; 3. shut down, and start from 1, I usually peruse twitter. I love it. I didn’t think I would. I always thought, “What the hell could someone meaningfully say in 140 characters or less?” The answer is, a LOT. In fact, it made me realize that most of what should be said, could be said with more intensity and less words. As this blog post exemplifies amazingly is that I completely suck at that and will likely never be able to change that.

I didn’t say I was good at twitter, I just said I love it.

Apparently, yesterday was all about the VMA’s. I didn’t watch it, I don’t really care what MTV values since I’ve never forgiven them for making reality TV a thing and most generic popular music simply does not interest me. But twitter being the pulse of current events, regardless of worth, I still managed to figure out that Nicki something and Miley whatever are definitely not ever going to braid each other’s hair anymore, Bieber cried or just jabbed something in his eye and Kanye gave a speech for some sort of BS award that sounded made up and Taylor did not give the speech for him (but should have).

I was bored enough to read the transcript (twitter was kind of dead at that point) and it seemed like the verbal diarrhea that comes from the mentally challenged, insane or excessively high. I couldn’t even tell you what it was about except that he would be running for president in 2020. If Trump were black, he’d be Kanye. I’ve never seen two people with bigger egos based on nothing, yet somehow, they both think the world owes them so much more.

The speech was bad, but I’m torn between it and the comments from the supporters that just gushed over the “clarity”, “emotion”, and “intelligence” of it…. huh? If they had to explain it in a 500-word essay for a passing grade on a graduate course, I doubt they could point out a single coherent thought from the entire thing. Unless the course was political science. You get bonus points for gibberish, from what I understand.

Of course, as I finalized my fixes for Spawn’s video game, my thoughts were less than 140 characters:

Kanye, just shut the fuck up.

Advertisements

, , , , , , , , , ,

  1. #1 by idioglossiablog on September 2, 2015 - 9:39 pm

    Oh how I’ve missed you! 🙂 G-uno

    • #2 by g2 on September 2, 2015 - 10:01 pm

      OH! the chat thing… just make sure you’re logged into the idioglossiablog twitter account and you should be good to go. It uses the same login.

  2. #3 by Brian on September 3, 2015 - 5:12 pm

    ” I’ve never seen two people with bigger egos based on nothing . . .”

    I immediately thought of Kim Kardashian and any of her siblings, but Kims’ ego is all based on her ass, isn’t it? Hmmmmm . . . .

    • #4 by g2 on September 3, 2015 - 6:45 pm

      You know it makes me wonder when they have the time to make offspring when I cannot imagine the riveting conversations to be more than:

      K:”I am awesome”

      K:”I am more awesome.”

      K:”How are you awesome?”

      K:”I… you know… you just gotta listen to the kids, man! you?”

      K:”um… dis ass?”

      K:”huh… you know, if you run around with all that grease all over, its going to ruin the furniture.”

      K:”Who can sit when arcing at this angle?! I mean really!”

      K:”You know, imma let you finish, but I am totally going to go stare at myself in the mirror for four hours when you are done talking.”

      K:”fine, I’m going to go shopping so all the mouth breathers can follow me around and tell me how beautiful/awesome I am”

      K:”I told you ‘I’ am awesome, woman!!

      K:”You know I only married you because your name started with a K”

      ….

      and so on ;P

      • #5 by Brian on September 4, 2015 - 1:38 am

        Exactly!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: