Weddings like most family orientated events are a lot more complicated underneath the surface. No matter how hard you try to leave out the drama it still seems to come creeping back in ever waiting to test your patience. We have a HUGE family so things can get a little tricky. As the mother of the bride I am not much help because unlike a great deal of women out there I never really spent a lot of time planning my own wedding.
In fact I decided to get up early on our wedding day to go to the beach with my groom. I was late getting home so I did not have time to get my hair or my make-up done. I literally showered threw on my dress, and went to the church. Luckily our daughter is no bridezilla. She is doing everything she can to keep things drama free, but it still seems to creep in at the most unexpected times.
Our first difficulty was in making the guest list. My husband’s family is huge! Unfortunately our budget is not. Our future son-in-law, and our daughter have insisted on paying for most of the wedding their selves. So the guest list will be 150. This meant trimming the family tree considerably. So to be fair they cut everyone off after the second cousins. I think this was probably the most difficult decision they’ve had to make.
Secondly our niece who got engaged five months after our daughter decided that she would like her wedding to be 6 weeks before ours. So this is a very tricky balancing act as well. Not only because of the timing, but she lives in a different state. We have our own wedding events prior to our wedding, so the entire family is a little stressed over trying to meet both of the couples events. We have had to just say up front that we will only be attending the wedding. This did not go over very well with our niece, or her mother. I did step up to gently remind them that by choosing to have their big day six weeks before ours they surely had to realize our wedding events were going to be impossible to completely coordinate. So there are some hard feelings there, but in all fairness there is only so much time everyone can take off from work. Not to mention the issues of setting up our own ceremony.
Our third issue is the photographer. After seeing her photos from other weddings we have decided that her artistic vision is not quite what we have in mind. After the engagement photos our daughter has been anxious about her style, but really does not want to insult her in any way. I told our daughter to forget about the deposit. We are giving 7 months notice of cancellation. I told her to blame me. Just say that I am paying for the photography, and that I am insisting on using another photographer.
Our fourth issue is the Mother-in-law. She seems to have an issue with every single choice the kids have made regarding the wedding. She has even told our daughter that she plans on wearing black (implying that she is in mourning), and will be bringing her own wine to the wedding because their choice of wine is unacceptable. They have tried to include her, but she has declined repeatedly. If she does not like the choices the kids have made she simply refuses to participate. I’m not exactly sure about how to approach this issue. It’s complicated because she, and the father-in-law are divorced. He has been in another relationship for over ten years, and the kids love his girlfriend very much. Trying to make everyone feel included without stepping on any toes has been almost impossible.
At this point I am just trying to do whatever I am asked to do. I am enjoying watching our kids plan their special day. I think they have done a great job at every turn. My husband, and I just keep telling them it’s their day. I just wish everyone else could adopt that perspective. 😉