Archive for October, 2015
One very short year ago g2, and I started Idioglossia the blog. It was a rough start to be sure as I looked back, and read my first post. The very idea that with all the talent out there that someone would actually take the time to read any of our posts still absolutely blows me away. So first, and foremost thank you all so much! I think that my writing has improved a bit, but the truth is that this blog has been a gift that we gave to ourselves. It’s one of the few things that I do just for myself.
I will admit I do still daydream about the day one of my family members, or one of our friends find out about our secret blog. Some will be very flattered, while others will need some considerable time to find their way back from being trashed to the stone ages. Talk about titillating 😉 subject matter, but the idea was to create a place where people could share the things that happen in their lives without fear of judgement.
The lesson I’ve learned is that people are still leery about sharing their most inner thoughts in writing for the whole world to see. I love the possibility that the whole world might actually take a peek at our blog lol. Surprisingly I’ve learned a lot about myself as a person by reading the subjects I’ve written about over the last 311 posts. I’m not always proud of the way I handle the events in my life, but I am proud of my commitment to the truth about some pretty private details.
The thing that surprises me most (aside from the fact that so many of you have read our posts) is that as impossible as it is to see ourselves the way others perceive us, I think I am starting to get a better idea. The internal reviews I have of myself don’t always match the external views some of you have graciously shared through comments. Luckily for me you all have been most kind in sharing your perspective views.
I have loved every moment of this experience. Thank you for putting up with us, and for sharing your writing. I can hardly wait on most days to run to my computer to see what you’ve all have chosen to write about in your blogs. Plus I can’t wait to see who I’m going to grow up to be. 😉
I suspect that my daughter has always been a believer in signs somewhere deep inside. After years of living with me it’s only natural that some of it should rub off, I am a believer of “signs.” Yes, I know there are a lot of you out there who don’t, but some things in this life can not be dismissed by even the world’s biggest “Doubting Thomas.”
We lost or loved one after a long four-year struggle in July. He was not a believer in signs, but at his funeral he sent what I believe to have been one of the best signs ever sent to grieving loved ones. A beautiful green, and yellow parakeet showed up at his grave site after his internment ceremony. It landed in front of us, and even let us hold him. If your curious about that story you can read my post “Signs From The Universe.” I will try to stay on track here with today’s post. 😉
Our family surrounded our loved one as he left this world behind. It was hands down one of the most difficult moments in our lives. As we sat with him waiting for the funeral home to arrive my brother-in-law softly played quiet music that reminded him of our loved one. Then he looked up at me, and asked what my song was. Mine was “Unforgettable” by Nat King Cole. So that’s what he played. Well as a private tribute myself, and other family members post this song on FB whenever we find ourselves missing him. This song gets played a lot.
Last week my daughter who is employed by the same long-term facility that our loved one lived the last four years of his life happen to be sitting in the dinning room where she, and her grandfather sat many times together for lunch feeding another resident. Another coworker sat beside her also feeding a resident. She told me she was overwhelmed with emotion as she sat in this dinning room for the first time since his passing.
Then all of a sudden the C.D. player cut on, and the song that played was Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable!” Our daughter who inherited her father’s “Doubting Thomas”gene found herself open to the possibility that she may share a few genes from her mother’s genetic pool. 😉
My daughter, and I agree that when referring to our female circle of friends “Steel Magnolias” is by far the most accurate way to classify the girls. The combination of friendships in that movie pretty much covers the majority of personalities found in our female circle of friends. I’m betting there are a lot of other women out there smiling, and nodding as you read this post. I’m gonna have to ask Jay from the fantastic blog “Assholes Watching Movies,” what the male counter movie would be for the men.
Let’s clarify the personality types for the one possible single female out there who has missed the ultimate girl movie of all times.
- M’Lynn Eaton- Who is played by Sally Field. She is the strong silent type in her group. She is the one with the great relationship, supermom, and the one everyone comes to for advice. The proverbial rock in the group. She’s the listener, the friend who gets to hear everyone’s deepest darkest secrets because everyone knows she will take your secret to the grave.
- Shelby Eaton- Who is played by Julia Roberts. She is the carefree, live in the moment type, and I quote “I would rather have thirty minutes of something wonderful than a lifetime of nothing special.” She’s warm-hearted, and the one you go to when you need to borrow some courage to live your life wide open.
- Truvy Jones- Who is played by Dolly Parton. She is the romantic sweetheart of the group. Slightly insecure, and highly curious/gossipy in a fun-loving way.
- Clairee Belcher- Who is played by Olympia Dukakis. She is the funny one of the group. She can can bring your group from tears to laughter in the blink of an eye. An astute observer of human nature with twist of sarcasm. The one most likely to “poke the bear” to amuse herself.
- Annelle Dupry- Who is played by Daryl Hannah. She’s the more reserved one in the group.Happy to be out of the spot light. She’s always searching for her place in life, never really feeling completely comfortable in her own skin. Loyal & supportive.
- Ouiser Boudreaux- Who is played by Shirley MacLaine. She is the character of the group. Outspoken, glass half empty type. She uses a shield of negativity as protective armor, in an attempt to hide her soft little underbelly. The disgruntled meanie with a heart of gold.
Just as in every circle of friends each personality brings something unique to the group. A kind of balance that makes life sweeter! I would have to rate my daughter as the combination of predominately #4, with a strong side order of 2 & 6. As for myself (Always harder to see yourself 😉 ) I think I’m a #1, #4, and a #6. Which friend are you?
So, I’m a bit dizzy at the moment, and I feel like I might keel over every time I bend at the waist, so let’s all be thankful I don’t have to tie my shoes today. Unfortunately, the fair is in town, Spawn will be there and I’m to catch up with them and our respective friends after work.
I want to go home and sleep.
I used to love a constant state of activity. I sought it out. I could not stand any level of boredom.
I hate that shit now.
I want to go home, I want to nap, I want to put on something very soft and warm and I want to make weird noises on the couch while the cats try to alternate between trying to kill me in my sleep and finding my best accumulation of fat to sleep on.
A couple weeks back Spawn’s computer went down. We had a lot of flooding that weekend. The power was iffy, and after about the 6th time of flickering, the power went out for good that night. When it was restored the next morning, the computer would not come up. It was so bad that no tool made for repair was working. Even the installation disk just wanted to give up. The drive was fine, but nothing would touch the files. When work opened again (I did say flooding, right?), I took it to work and see if I could find anything to repair it.
I ran everything I could to repair it, but it looked like half the operating system files were just missing. I’ve never had a disk I couldn’t get to boot Mercury is still in retrograde at this point (the time I opt out of any repair work) so I’m positive at this point I’m being unduly influenced by it, El Nino and the Blood Supermoon who are all working in cahoots with the Illuminati. Probably. Of course, I also lost the cover to the install disk, so I have no clue what my code is anymore. Most the tools I downloaded to find it, couldn’t.
The downtown and many low points of our city were completely buried under water, including a portion of the sewage plant. We had some coffins making escape attempts, bridges and roads collapsing, trees falling, debris, etc. Spawn and I were lucky, we were on a well, lived on a hill and ended up with a soggy driveway and a bad installation in the aftermath, that was it. All too many completely lost their homes and everything in it. Of the hundred or so co-workers I have, just two were affected. For situations like this, that’s not bad odds, even though it’s terribly shitty for the one experiencing it.
We had a few deaths, but the overwhelmingly rapid and adaptive response time that occurred during and immediately after the floods was enormous. Twitter and Facebook were blowing up with statuses of the conditions in the area, pictures of the wreckage, if people were trapped in particular locations, responses that help would be coming and when, words of encouragement.
When I was a kid, I got to see firsthand the aftermath of a hurricane and my little hometown had no power for weeks. Power was restored this time in days. Businesses that were half-swimming opened up in a week or three later. One Little Caesars opened as immediately as they could and was one of the only places for miles feeding people. A Shoney’s followed suit with a no-menu, breakfast bar only option and bottled water. Sure, it’s still a work in progress and not everything is back to normal. Even Spawn in on delays at school still to compensate for the navigational problems. Ironically, there are a ton of roads just around my area that are completely destroyed.
But it was nice to see the passive-aggressive bullshit put aside and an overwhelming amount of people just asking “What do you need? Where can I get it to you?” and making it happen. The surrounding states? They fucking rock like Elvis. Not even sport rivalry was slowing down the overwhelming amount of generosity and support I witnessed while people went without decent water for almost 2 weeks, but we didn’t lack. Where there was a need, there were plenty trying to fill it. I know it’s twisted, but I appreciate the simplicity of importances that are realized after a catastrophe. I just wish that simplicity lasted.
As for the computer, Spawn helped out at work, I backed as much as I could on my work machine, cut my losses and completely reinstalled the operating system (I found one tool that gave me the code). This time I made sure it was 64-bit. I even went ahead and upgraded Spawn to Windows 10 (making sure to turn off all the Big Brother options, of course. Fuck you, Microsoft, you creepy stalker!). Ironically, things that used to be problems before it crashed, were no longer an issue.
Spawn was just happy to have their machine back and spent the next weekend getting to know the newness. It made me long for mine as well, until I realized more hardware, a custom service rep and an RMA were involved and took a nap instead.
This past weekend a friend and former co-worker we haven’t seen since Spawn was half the size they are now came by in order for me to help them update their resume and catch up. You never really realize sometimes how much you miss someone until they are in your face making you acknowledge it. Spawn was a shock to them, but they managed to catch up like times never changed and we had a great time just talking.
The next day, I planned to go north and nab apples for our annual visit. It was a long drive, the weather was chilly and beautiful, we were there pretty much all day and it was tiring but nice. We enjoyed apple slushies, apple doughnuts, apple bread, apple butter, a half bushel of apples, and Spawn picked out a pumpkin they liked and my usual partner-in-crime and their two kids got about the same and a few more veggies. We had quite a load to haul back home and the kids didn’t last long before they just conked out. It meant the conversation could get more R-rated, which is rare when we hang.
I hate doing any sort of activity on Sundays, I think Sunday is such a jype anyway since it’s technically a weekend day but you still have to go to bed early. It sucks. Sunday should be Saturday, part II and Monday should be Sunday. We already hate it enough already, this would lessen the ire and instill World Peace.. let me know and I’ll tell you where you can send my Nobel.
As tired as I was when we got home, I wasn’t able to sleep, my voice is threatening to give out today and I was already barely holding some sort of funk at bay.
And today… the fair. The screams, ear-blistering music, seizure-inducing lights, the wafts of fried dough, vomit, sugar, piss, diaper, 30 year-old uncleaned ashtray and asphalt nostril-raping passersby with their constant orgy of aromas. The rotund herds of people, mouth agape, wondering where their next fried chocolate bar will come from while they wander right in your pathway like a pack of drunken toddlers on downers, incapable of keeping their focus on the direction in which they are sort of aiming. I’m still trying to figure out what the signal is that makes them wander right from the pages of the People of Wal-Mart and into this place where you can purchase a cup of french fries for $10, or cotton candy aka candyfloss for 15$ and $25 for the small and large bags respectively.
It’s at least not Disney World, but that’s a rant for another day.
I want to go home. I also want a gyro. Maybe an elephant ear, definitely some fries with some vinegar… do they do the fried onions anymore? ooooooh, friend mushrooms…!
Burying the hatchet? I’m having a hard time with this concept. My heart says yes, but my brain is screaming not a chance! I was on FB, and I saw a quote that said giving someone too many chances is the equivalent to giving someone the green light to continue to disrespect you. The premise being that if you keep forgiving someone for disrespecting you, they never worry about correcting the behavior because they know there will be no consequence for their behavior.
Then as I scrolled down a little further I saw the quote that said you can’t change the behavior of those around you, but you can change who you choose to be around. At this point I’m asking myself coincidence or signs from the “Universe?” I am more of a signs kind of gal 😉 so of course I continue to scroll a little further.
Then the next quote says choosing to forgive someone does not dismiss their bad behavior, but it does allow you to free yourself from the negativity of the situation. So now I start to believe that the “Universe” has become bored with all it’s other pressing matters, and has decided that messing with my mind is just way too amusing. I know what you’re thinking G-uno is getting stoned, or drinking, I swear I am doing neither.
I was simply using FB like some “Crazy Eight Ball” asking it questions, and then scrolling for an answer. This is what happens when I’m left to my own devices to amuse myself. All joking aside I am trying to handle my anger from a humorous point of view. Still clinging to the notion that if you live by sword, you will die by the sword.
Then I spoke with my good friend about everything that was going through my mind, and she said with a huge mischievous grin that from where she was sitting she felt that I had two options. “One option was to bury the hatchet, ignoring the repetitive passive aggressive behaviors. The other was to expertly throw the hatchet so close to my SIL’s head that if she treated me that badly again she’d get the idea that we would be burying more than the hatchet.” Oh how I love that friend of mine! 😉
“Love is seldom-
an even proposition.
I love this quote because I think it applies to every single relationship you have with every single person we love.Whether it’s your life partner, your children, siblings, other family members, or your friends, love is seldom an even proposition. Love is a living breathing entity, and ever-changing by it’s very nature, but for some reason we always want to make it equal. We want to compartmentalize love, keep score on who was more giving, who was right, who did more than their share of giving, or compromising.
I think we guard our selves emotionally in this very destructive behavior as a way of covering our bases in our relationships. We have a huge fear of being the one to screw up something that means so much to us. We can be so focused on that fear that we lose the very thing that makes our love so extraordinary. After all the very idea that anything in life is equal, is pretty absurd. If you think about it, it’s a pretty Utopic concept. Talk about chasing the unattainable.
My husband, and I have had a difficult couple of months. We have both been on edge, when this happens I think the feeling of being out of sync is more than uncomfortable, or agitating. I think it’s frightening. Let’s face it no one likes feeling vulnerable. So we stick out our chests, declare that whatevers going on couldn’t possibly be our fault, and before you know it you’ve forgotten that this kind of behavior is something that destroys relationships rather than building them. Ironically you are perpetrating the thing you actually fear happening! Yep that’s why they call love crazy.
So in the middle of feeling agitated, mad, and preparing my next why I’m right speech in my head, I stopped to think about how horrible all of this fighting was making me feel. Mr G-uno is a fierce warrior, something I love when I myself am not what he’s battling, and what I felt was a haunting distance. In my own quest to be understood and of course be right, I had lost track of the what keeps love going.
I forgot that in love someone is always in need of being loved more. I had forgotten that sometimes you get to be the person that is more loved, and that sometimes you need to be the person who loves more. 😉
This past week it’s been Yosemite Sam all the way for me! My angry boots have landed on some well deserving back sides even though I know I should have assumed a more well thought out Bugs Bunny like approach. I’m not sure why I’m so agitated I can only tell you that I am. I have been loud, vocal, and downright ornery! Hormones? Maybe. Lack of sleep? Definitely not helping the situation. The biggest varmint in the equation? One passive aggressive sister-in-law, and her spoiled “Bridezilla” offspring.
For those of you who might be reading a post on our blog for the first time (Welcome, and my apologies for the rant) my niece who decided to jump in front of our daughter’s wedding by 6 short weeks has her lasso tied up in a huge knot over her cousins (one being the bride she jumped in front of, her fiance, and brother) because they will not be able to attend all of her pre-wedding events. The problem is that the 3 cousins all work weekends for a living, so they have already requested their alloted share of weekends off for their own wedding events.
My sister-in-law made a snide comment about them not being able to come, and I reminded her that it was not our choice to have the weddings 6 weeks apart.(Okay a bit bitchy on my part) This seriously ticked her off (truth hurts), and since she knows that it was not a completely thoughtful thing to do to her own niece, not to mention all the other invited family members she has decided to mess with me. Not directly of course, but with the other in-laws who all belong to the let’s hate G-uno club. A club firmly established over thirty-five years ago.
I would like to make it duly noted that my SIL (mother of “Bridezilla”) will trash these club members when she is with me, but smooches their backsides when she is with them. I remain on the most hated list because I have adopted a non-ass smooching policy, and the occasional Yosemite blast your ass one when I am caught off guard. My SIL is pretty sly, and does the passive aggressive thing in a way that our men don’t always pick up on unless it’s brought to their attention.
So her latest act of aggression was to not send an invitation to my spouse, or myself for their daughter’s engagement party. She did however sweetly send one to our children (the bride, and fiance whose wedding they jumped in front of), and our son who still lives at home with us(exact same address). She does this with every single event she hosts, and then asks for a head count for the occasion. Then I tell her we did not receive an invitation, to which she replies “Oh it must have gotten lost in the mail.”
I know in the scheme of life this is petty stuff, and usually I just ignore the silent digs.This time I just couldn’t put on my Bugs Bunny like demeanor, and casually pretend not to notice. This time I went all Yosemite Sam like, and as she told my “Bridezilla” niece who was with her when we spoke ” Oh I guess your Aunt didn’t get her invitation again, they really should get a new mailman,” I replied by saying ” Well I hope you received the check we sent you for your engagement gift.” ( over the years I have made it a point to be pretty generous with our check gifts so I could picture both my niece, and my SIL perking up) Then in unison they both said “No we haven’t gotten a gift yet!”
To which I replied ” Hmm must be that damn mailman again!” 😉