“Love is seldom-
an even proposition.
I love this quote because I think it applies to every single relationship you have with every single person we love.Whether it’s your life partner, your children, siblings, other family members, or your friends, love is seldom an even proposition. Love is a living breathing entity, and ever-changing by it’s very nature, but for some reason we always want to make it equal. We want to compartmentalize love, keep score on who was more giving, who was right, who did more than their share of giving, or compromising.
I think we guard our selves emotionally in this very destructive behavior as a way of covering our bases in our relationships. We have a huge fear of being the one to screw up something that means so much to us. We can be so focused on that fear that we lose the very thing that makes our love so extraordinary. After all the very idea that anything in life is equal, is pretty absurd. If you think about it, it’s a pretty Utopic concept. Talk about chasing the unattainable.
My husband, and I have had a difficult couple of months. We have both been on edge, when this happens I think the feeling of being out of sync is more than uncomfortable, or agitating. I think it’s frightening. Let’s face it no one likes feeling vulnerable. So we stick out our chests, declare that whatevers going on couldn’t possibly be our fault, and before you know it you’ve forgotten that this kind of behavior is something that destroys relationships rather than building them. Ironically you are perpetrating the thing you actually fear happening! Yep that’s why they call love crazy.
So in the middle of feeling agitated, mad, and preparing my next why I’m right speech in my head, I stopped to think about how horrible all of this fighting was making me feel. Mr G-uno is a fierce warrior, something I love when I myself am not what he’s battling, and what I felt was a haunting distance. In my own quest to be understood and of course be right, I had lost track of the what keeps love going.
I forgot that in love someone is always in need of being loved more. I had forgotten that sometimes you get to be the person that is more loved, and that sometimes you need to be the person who loves more. 😉