Silence Is Not Always Golden (G-uno)

Why is it that that the holidays can bring so much joy for some, and such deep sorrow for others? I think that because of my own childhood circumstances I learned a very valuable skill set very early in life. I developed my own special super power. For the most part I can see something good in most situations. I have taught myself how to look at the worst possible situations as life’s way of teaching me some important lesson.
This of course is not a foolproof superpower, like any other super powers it has it’s own brand of “Kryptonite.” Particularly when I am unable to recognize the lesson, When the lesson becomes a complete enigma with no possible (from my point of view 😉 ) redeeming quality. This is the point where I usually lose my ability to refrain from keeping my mouth shut.
Silence can be golden for the majority of life’s most miserable moments. It allows you to take a step back, a chance to explore every possible situation with  a more rational  approach. Rationality over emotional outbursts is by far the best way to avoid misreading most situations. Unfortunately last night my ability to remain both silent, and golden did not happen. I was in fact very much the opposite of silent, and golden.
As it turns out I am pretty pissed at my friends husband’s “Golden Silence.” I can find nothing redeemable about someone walking away from a 30 plus year marriage, with the only explanation being “I just can’t do this anymore.” I can accept that someone has the right to change their life in any way they might deem necessary. What I cannot swallow is their decision to move out right before a major family holiday without giving your spouse the much deserved answer to her question “Why?”

 

 

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  1. #1 by blahpolar on November 29, 2015 - 9:53 am

    She definitely deserved/deserves the ‘why’ being answered :/

    • #2 by idioglossiablog on November 29, 2015 - 9:59 am

      LOL I agree, but I let my emotions get the best of me. I was pretty harsh with him. He is my friend, but he walked around the house while his kids were here, as if nothing had happened. Seeing her, and their girls so upset just broke me. G-uno

  2. #3 by blahpolar on November 29, 2015 - 10:01 am

    I’d have flipped my lid too – that fine line between loyalty and whatever it’s called when you want to smack people on a friend’s behalf…. I have huge trouble finding that line. Or even defining it LOL

    • #4 by idioglossiablog on November 29, 2015 - 10:17 am

      He and I were sitting in the back yard. I had gone outside to get away from the tension inside the house. At first I didn’t say a word, then he said “So I guess your pissed off.” The I said yes I’m pissed off watching you walk around stuffing your pie hole like your completely oblivious to your families pain. It’s so fucking selfish. Stop being such a self-centered dick. Just tell her the truth about why you’ve done this so she can move the fuck on. Not one of my finer moments. To make matters worse I meant every word. 😦 G-uno

      • #5 by blahpolar on November 29, 2015 - 2:29 pm

        Lol how did he respond? Sorry to lol, but that was a damn fine speech mate.

        • #6 by idioglossiablog on November 29, 2015 - 5:18 pm

          Oh please laugh it takes away the horribleness of this crazy situation. 😉 He just looked at me. He didn’t say a word. This would be so much easier if I didn’t love them both so much. I’m not good at hiding my emotions. He knows that I’m angry, I just need to make sure he understands that anger doesn’t mean I’m ready to throw away our friendship. It just means I believe that she deserves an answer. I will have to apologize for the name calling. 😉 G-uno

  3. #7 by Rita on November 29, 2015 - 12:54 pm

    Couldn’t agree more!

    • #8 by idioglossiablog on November 29, 2015 - 5:22 pm

      Thanks Rita! I just should have left out calling him a “Dick.” Damn Kryptonite. 😉

      • #9 by Rita on November 29, 2015 - 5:40 pm

        LOL! Oh, I don’t know. I think clear communication helps in these situations.

  4. #10 by oceanswater on November 29, 2015 - 3:30 pm

    I think he will tell why when he gets up the nerve. Some things are harder than others to say. As I’ve said before men (especially older men) don’t jump ship unless there is a life preserver waiting out there for them. His “secret” may be very dark and he’s just not ready to share it yet. Honestly, I can see both sides. Give his time and space. She should go to see a therapist herself to discuss her own feelings about what’s going on.

    • #11 by idioglossiablog on November 29, 2015 - 5:08 pm

      I know that what your saying is right. I can feel it with every part of me. I just really want us to be wrong for her sake. Also he, and I have been friends for years so I owe him the loyalty of giving him every benefit of doubt. Over the years I have learned the hard way that things aren’t always the way they seem. I’m having lunch with her tomorrow in between work so I am going to suggest that she speak with a therapist. Thank you as always for your wise perspective. G-uno

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