Who Is More To Blame In An Affair The Spouse Or The Person They Cheat With? (G-uno)
In My little circle the answer was unanimous, the spouse! We feel that the spouse made the commitment so they are more to blame. I will not lie, and tell you that we forgive the 24 year-old for her side in this entire mess. I won’t even tell you that we’ve been kind to the doe eyed girl who didn’t learn in preschool that it’s not ok to take what belongs to someone else. Publicly we’ve been mature, but privately we have trashed her back to the stone ages.
The trashing is not because she is 24, but that age just naturally conjures up more disparaging comments for two reasons. The first is to alleviate the inner cringe we all feel when we remember that she is two years younger than his daughter. The second reason is that all of us have children in this age range so find the humor in the difference of the 50 something year-old life experience/thinking, and that of the 20 something range.
I think that a lot of people feel like ouch you were traded for a younger model. It might surprise you to know that the actual betrayal is what stings the most. The age is not as traumatizing due to the fact that having an affair with someone younger does not make you younger. No one can deny the physical lure of the 20 something person, but there’s a an equally alluring quality that comes with the experienced confident 50 something person. I would be tempted to make a trade for my 24 year-old physical self, but not at the expense of my 50 something mentality.
Sure I liked my 20 something body better, but I like the way I feel about myself now better. You should also know my stripper pole friend has a rocking figure, and a beautiful face. She is incredibly smart & sexy. She would have zero trouble finding men of any age who would want to be with her. The problem here is that she loves the the man she built a life with. People who have been in a long-term relationships know that marriages are never perfect, but the promise was for better or worse till death do us part.
I was pleasantly surprised to find out that so many of you out there do believe a marriage can survive infidelity. Even happier to know that some of you like our other friend, did find a way to make things work after the affair. I’m not sure that my friends will be able to survive his affair because some of us equate infidelity as a death, the death of a marriage.
There is two of us actually, G-uno and g2. We have been friends for a while, met through our own similarities in duality, openness and love of listening. Our differences as well as our similarities always border on the extreme.