In my opinion the majority of nurses can be divided into two basic categories the amazing Florence Nightingales, or the batshit crazy ones. Of course those two categories branch off into a thousand other categories, but those are most definitely the first two divisional starting points. “Ellie May Clampet” is dying. This is the part of my job that I absolutely hate.
She is an amazing woman who has lived a first rate life. I call her “Ellie May Clampet” for two reasons. The first is to protect her privacy, and the second is because in her younger photos she looks just like the beautiful blonde bombshell character in the old television series “The Beverly Hillbillies.” We have reached the stage where Hospice nursing is required around the clock.
Before every nurse out there wants to hang me from the nearest tree, let me just say I have the deepest respect for “MOST” of the nurses out there, but even you all cannot deny that the batshit crazy ones do exist. They are just a part of the whole medical community experience. I know most of you work your backsides off to care for your patients. You have a thankless job where your patients, their family members, doctors, D.O.N.s, CNAs, and facility managers who don’t have a clue as to what you do bitch, moan, and complain to you endlessly. I am truly sorry for this because you are truly extraordinary human beings.
Then there are you the “batshit crazy ones,” (stop shaking your heads you know who you are) the ones who pocket your patients antianxiety meds & pain killers. You hover over your nursing carts pretending to be busy, shaking your heads in the yes motion to every plea that comes your way while you simultaneously manage to never meet even one single request. There’s also the always stressed messed nurse who barks at anyone who even ventures to approach her cart. It keeps people from approaching you at all so you can hide until your wretched shift is over.
Hospice Nurses are usually nurses who have been floor nurses at hospitals, or other facilities. After years of dealing with the system they decide to revisit their initial desire to fully have time to care for a patient on a one to one personal basis. I believe that is the inner dream of all nurses. The system quickly robs your ability to fulfill this noble desire,and may even be somewhat be responsible for flipping a Florence Nightingale type into they batshit crazy type. Once again deep respect for the truly dedicated nurses who deal with this most difficult end of life nursing. That being said you tend to draw in your own special brand of batshit crazy nurses.
Ellie May’s family (a beautiful bunch who love their mother deeply) have asked me to continue being their mom’s assistant as she makes her journey to the other side. I have agreed to this so now when I am with her I am also sharing this time with her Hospice nurses. I prefer to physically care for Ellie May in the way that I have since we began our time together. While caring for her some of her nurses have decided to confide in me, sharing their personal stories. I think the fact that we are sharing this small room early in the morning with no one else there except Ellie May, makes it the perfect setting to tell two people who you will not see again some pretty personal confessions. 😉