My Showdown With Frank (G-uno)

I went to pick Frank up from school today. All of our previous encounters have been weighing heavily on my mind. His Mom told me that I he did not like it when I referred to him as my friend Frank. This statement really got under my skin. He threatens to do physical harm to her, and she plays it off like it’s no big deal. I refer to him as my friend Frank, and that’s a big deal? Really? I think in addition to that, and all of my tip toeing around with the two of them I had just reached my limit.
I pulled up in the carline greeting him with the usual smile filled “How was your day?” waiting for him to put his seatbelt on so we can get going. He immediately starts into one of his little tantrums yelling at me to get going. He is screaming at me that I don’t need to wait for him to fasten his seatbelt, that he’s not a damn baby. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I spun around in my seat. I told him that” I don’t like your tone of voice, as the adult in this car I am in charge of the driving…” He interrupts me screaming that he’s not going to do it!” I interrupt him saying that I was not finished speaking, not to interrupt me again.
He was angry, shocked by reaction, maybe even a little stunned. He decided to fasten his seatbelt, and close his mouth. When I finished I told him that it was his turn to speak. He replied yelling, I immediately Β tell him to correct his tone. Then he told me he wasn’t going to speak to me anymore. I thanked him telling him I would enjoy the silence. Then he threatened me. I pulled the car over spun around again, and told him Β “Don’t you ever threaten me again, and knock off the weird boy routine. Your not violent your just saying that crap to try to upset people. I am not taking this or any other disrespect from you any more!
I went further telling him that he needed to tell his mother that he no longer wanted me to be his assistant, so she could find him a replacement that he did actually like. He didn’t say another thing. When we arrived at his home he jumped out of the car throwing his coat, and backpack across the ground. I marched over to him, and told him to pick it up now! He did it, but then he took off running. So I Told him that’s it, I’m calling your Mom I’m leaving. He came back pleading for me not to go. I stood there for a minute studying his face. I know he does not fear his mother, so it hit me that he actually did not want me to go.
I told him that we were going inside to clean up his awful room, and when that was done properly whatever time was left he could choose what he would like to do. Of course he tested me trying to avoid cleaning his room properly. I did not budge an inch. He finally relented when he saw that I would not. Then much to my surprise he began to carefully clean up his mess. I asked him if he would like some help. He nodded yes, so I helped him finish. When we finally finished I told him he did a good job, so he could choose what he would like to do until his Mom arrived.
After his mother returned I said goodbye, and started walking towards the door. Frank ran up to me hugging me from the side. It was my turn to be shocked. I looked down at him, winked,smiled, and told him I’ll see you Monday. Maybe he is a real boy afterall. πŸ˜‰

 

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  1. #1 by innerdragon on January 15, 2016 - 2:17 am

    Wow

  2. #2 by Rita on January 15, 2016 - 2:38 am

    Desperate for the boundaries and the love you show him! That’s what I felt so powerfully as I read this. He’s a hurting, real boy indeed.

  3. #3 by The Champa Tree on January 15, 2016 - 10:50 am

    OMG!

  4. #5 by Brian on January 15, 2016 - 6:15 pm

    Someone finally called him on his shit! Maybe now progress can be had.

    • #6 by idioglossiablog on January 15, 2016 - 7:30 pm

      I’m still leery, but I see some light. πŸ˜‰ G-uno

  5. #7 by jasminehoneyadams on January 15, 2016 - 7:21 pm

    It’s taken me months to put my finger on it! This whole saga reminds me of the “ill” boy in the book The Secret Garden.

  6. #9 by emmagc75 on January 16, 2016 - 6:30 pm

    You handled the situation exactly right. That boy needs structure n boundaries he’s not getting. Good for you!

    • #10 by idioglossiablog on January 17, 2016 - 2:06 pm

      I feel like he felt my anger. I will make sure next time that the boundaries are strong without the anger. πŸ˜‰ I was completely surprised by his compliance. His mother sets limits almost continuously. He is very angry about that, I’m starting to wonder if he wants to see her as a real girl. πŸ˜‰ I will be with him tomorrow after I see Ellie May. It should be interesting. G-uno

      • #11 by emmagc75 on January 17, 2016 - 3:46 pm

        Yeah but he seems very much in need of limits. Did the bad behavior n anger create the limits or has the limits created the anger n bad behavior? Lol

  7. #13 by elementhealing on January 19, 2016 - 6:16 pm

    Perhaps he just needs someone to actually challenge him and be the adult in charge.

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