Furious Frank, And His Death Threat (G-uno)

Patience when it comes to the strangeness of human behavior is truly my forte’, but even I have my limit. Apparently the limit is a death threat. Frank threatened to kill me today. I went to pick him up from school today, he got into my car with his usual look of discontent. I gave him my usual greeting, a smile followed by a how was your day? Fully expecting him to rudely ignore my greeting. He buckled his seatbelt, then he began to scream.
“You didn’t get my paper you freaking, fucking idiot, I hate you!” I turn around completely thrown by how immediately he just went off like a bomb with absolutely no warning. My first reaction was to try to figure out what piece of paper he was shrieking about but then he looked me straight in the eye, and yelled I’m going to fucking kill you!” I completely snapped.
I yelled back “That’s it I’m done with this. I’m not taking any more of your crap! Who do you think you are speaking to me like that? I don’t know what paper your carrying on about because my freaking crystal ball isn’t working, but I can tell you this, you better never threaten me again, and I am done putting up with all your little games. If your were my child you’d be across my lap, and your pants would be melting to your backside from the speed of my hand spanking your spoiled backside!
Of course he started to scream back, and I told him not to say another word that when we got home he was going to put his stuff away, no screaming, no breaking things, and no tantrums. I told him that I would call his Mom, and let her know she could find someone else. When we got to the house I knew he was going to make a run for it, and the very thought of this had my blood boiling. I turned to him before he could climb out of the car, and told him to go straight to the door, put your things away. He told me to stay the fuck away from him, that he hated me.
I knew he was going to run so I sprung from the car, and headed him towards the back away from the front road, and into the back yard. He was screaming at me from the top of his lungs. He reached down picked up a four foot piece of a tree limb, and hurled it at me. I was so angry I picked it up, and snapped it over my leg throwing it back to the ground. He hurled his lunch box filled with heavy ice packs inside right at my face! I knocked it into the dirt ran towards Frank. I got eye to eye with him, and told him in a tone of voice that scared me as much as it did him. ” For the the last time get inside the house I will not ask you again!” This time he went.
His sister heard all of the commotion, she came running to see what was going on with us. He started his shrieking. slamming and kicking things routine all over again. I got close to his face telling him I was calling the police if he did not stop and head out to the dinning room. His sister called their Mom who then called me. Frank begins to yell into the phone that I’m killing him. I tell her that he has threatened to kill me, and that he was going to pick something of his choice, but that he will not be allowed to go outside of my sight until she arrived.
It took almost 45 minutes to get home when she was only 20 minutes away. Frank was sitting on his mini trampoline curled up in his blanket with his book staring at me as I straightened up the room. He did not say a word until she walked in the door. Then he immediately went into his usual mode. I turned right towards him, and told him to sit back down. He starts screaming, and cussing at me. I tell him I don’t care if your mother is here, or not if you don’t sit down I will call the police. He stops then immediately starts crying to his mother that he wants to kill himself. He is playing with her like a complete master of manipulation. He stops between sentences to check my face for a reaction, then immediately proceeds to continue to work on her emotions. Looking up at me almost smirking as he continues to say he doesn’t want to live any more.
She’s holding him on her lap in the way that you would hold a toddler, unable to see the expression on his face. Then it hits me. This is the only time he shows her affection, something she desperately wants from him. She is so desperate to have this connection with Frank that she doesn’t even get that it’s not a genuine show of affection. It’s simply a show.

 

 

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  1. #1 by innerdragon on February 26, 2016 - 3:55 am

    And all I can think is, he needs to be in an institution and get straightened out. His mom, too. I don’t mean it crually, but this dynamic is beyond unhealthy. It is dangerous.

  2. #2 by idioglossiablog on February 26, 2016 - 4:00 am

    I appreciate your weighing in on this. This happened hours ago, and I am still shaking from the whole experience. I hate the idea of giving up on a child, but this is way out of my realm of experience. I am completely overwhelmed. G-uno

  3. #3 by Rita on February 26, 2016 - 5:02 am

    Oh, G-uno, I completely agree with innerdragon on this. It’s time for the big guns with this child before he hurts himself or someone else. He is out of control.

    You have tried and frankly you have the patience of Job. I would have been all up in his momma’s business long before now. You aren’t giving up; you are saving him/them.

    • #4 by idioglossiablog on February 26, 2016 - 2:25 pm

      I am heartbroken Rita. I am completely at a loss here. I would give anything just to know what the right thing to do for Frank is, he is just a child. Thanks for weighing in on this mess. G-uno

      • #5 by Rita on February 26, 2016 - 2:34 pm

        I’m so sorry! I can feel your love for him in your words. Honey, he needs a professional intervention to heal his angry heart and his mom needs to be pulled screaming into reality. Imagine this untreated in six more years.

        I live less than an hour from Columbine HS and I work with a father whose son was in class that day.

        If anyone would have noticed, stepped up and intervened when these two boys were showing signs (and they were) of their hostility and pain, I wonder if there would be so many ghosts here today.

        • #6 by idioglossiablog on February 26, 2016 - 2:40 pm

          I know your right. I just don’t know what to do. The school knows, Mom’s family knows. I can’t make a report to child services because Mom isn’t abusive. The home is well kept. He is being cared for in every physical way. Yet I know we are all failing him.
          G-uno

          • #7 by Rita on February 26, 2016 - 2:43 pm

            Does he act this way in school?

          • #8 by idioglossiablog on February 27, 2016 - 10:48 pm

            Yes, I know he has been reprimanded at school, and the school had contacted Mom about several issues.

          • #9 by Rita on February 27, 2016 - 10:54 pm

            I’m surprised they have not recommended he be placed in therapy.

  4. #10 by Robert Matthew Goldstein on February 26, 2016 - 5:41 am

    There is a problem that much deeper here. Something happened to this boy — It’s even more unhealthy about the fact that she is so needy that she can’t see that her son is already headed for a state penitentiary. I wish I knew more about the specifics…but there is an explosive secret fueling this kids explosive temper.

    • #11 by idioglossiablog on February 26, 2016 - 2:21 pm

      Robert I wish I knew. Mom has not been upfront with me on any account. I know she adopted him after he lived in her home as a foster child for a year. Severe neglect by Frank’s biological parents, also drug usage was involved. I can not tell you anything more than that. He has been violent in school which I would also not have known until his aunt let it slip. Mom just takes it when he reacts this way almost emotionless. I really don’t know what to do. I didn’t sleep at all last night thinking about all that happened. G-uno

      • #12 by Robert Matthew Goldstein on February 26, 2016 - 6:35 pm

        How frightening to have a child threaten your life. If he knows he is a foster child and if he knows that his parents used drugs and if his adoptive Mother confuses pity with love he’s in a world of trouble because the best way she can love him is to get herself to a psychologist…because he needs discipline. The reason I wonder if the Mom is confusing pity with love is the scene you describe where the kid works her over emotionally. That is not good for wither of them.

        • #13 by idioglossiablog on February 27, 2016 - 10:14 pm

          Agreed! He knows he was her foster child, and that he was adopted. I don’t think they told him any of the other circumstances. I think Mom like many adoptive parents long to secure a bond she may not be 100% sure exists. He knew sitting on her lap that she could not see his face, he looked at me in such a way as if to say see I have her under control.

          • #14 by Robert Matthew Goldstein on February 27, 2016 - 11:04 pm

            The scene that you describe is chilling. It reminded of the child in ‘The Bad Seed’

  5. #15 by oceanswater on February 26, 2016 - 1:59 pm

    SMH…

  6. #16 by Brian on February 26, 2016 - 6:05 pm

    G-uno – you have the patience of Job and the compassion of a saint!

    Are there no mental hygiene statutes that can be used? Sure, Franks mom isn’t abusing him so CPS is out, but he is clearly abusing and manipulating her (she’s more than a wee bit co-dependent too) In my state, ambulance personnel and police can invoke mental hygiene laws and have a person at least held for evaluation. This has evolved (devolved?) back to the back story of a Criminal Minds episode – how the sociopath got his start – and someone is going to end up with more than a broken arm, especially as Frank gets bigger.

    • #17 by idioglossiablog on February 27, 2016 - 10:42 pm

      Thanks Brian. I think that his age makes me not want to give up on him more than anything. I am not sure about the statutes where we live, but I can find out. Both Mom, and Frank are complete mysteries to me.I have to say my family finds all this a little creepy too. Frank will be much more difficult as he get older. I can’t shake the feeling that I’m missing something about the whole situation. Thanks again, G-uno

  7. #18 by g2 on April 15, 2016 - 6:13 pm

    This kid is a class A sociopath and mom is in denial. Need to change his nick from Frank to Ted

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