What Couples Who Have Been In Long-Term Relationships Don’t Want You To Know (G-uno)

I had a much needed lunch today with Jane, and the girls. As most of you know g2, and I have chosen not to reveal our blog to our friends,and family in hopes of being able to post in the most truthful way possible. The idea was to host a blog where people could vent the things they could never say in their daily lives without some censoring, or awkward backlash. So today at lunch I was thinking that each woman at this table has at one time or another shared some deeply personal life details, and as raw as our secrets get I am sure they have all been censored in some way.
We all (humans) have our deepest secrets that no matter how much we trust someone, we don’t want others to know. Hell as I sat there I was thinking about our blog. In addition to being with my friends I had every intention of testing my theory of how much raw detail each of my girls would come up with if I asked them to name things that couples who have been in long-term relationships didn’t want others who have not been in one to know.
Ironically I also wondered if the details (although completely anonymous) that I share in my posts would be something they would be angry to know that I have shared? Would they be angry to know that I have this whole blog going on that they don’t know about either. Then I thought the same thoughts about my family. Then I realized they were all laughing at me as Jane snapped her fingers next to my head while saying “Earth to G-uno are you still with us?”
Doing my best not to be a complete liar I gave them the whole rundown on my censoring secrecy theory (minus the I’m gathering information to share in my next post details), and then I asked them each to tell me one completely uncensored thing they thought people who had, or are in long-term relationships didn’t want someone who hadn’t been in one to know because they felt they would not truly be able to grasp the concept. So for your reading pleasure here is the list my girls came up with:
  1. There will be times, even period of times where you will hate your person.
  2. There will be sexual droughts, and you will be okay with the break.
  3. You, or your spouse may cheat, and you will agree to never tell anyone outside of each other.
  4. You will share horribly mean spirited observations about other people in your lives, and sometimes bond over it.
  5. You will openly hate one or more of their family members.
  6. You will have sex in your friend’s home during some holiday or get together with out telling them.
  7. Your person will hate one of your closest friends, and you will hide that from your friend.
    .
There was a distinct discomfort after coming up with this list. I think it was because we could identify with all of the secrets we had come up with on our list. The really interesting thing was that we all knew that this secrecy exists, but even in our tight little circle we plead the 5th on certain topics on our list. ( Cough#!* 3,6,& 7) The one thing that everyone agreed with, was that I wasn’t allowed to pick anymore subject matters for our luncheons for a very long time! πŸ˜‰

 

 

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  1. #1 by Rita on May 4, 2016 - 11:57 pm

    Great post.

    • #2 by idioglossiablog on May 5, 2016 - 11:15 am

      Thank you. G-uno

      • #3 by Rita on May 5, 2016 - 11:18 am

        My pleasure. You always make me smile 😊

        • #4 by idioglossiablog on May 5, 2016 - 11:20 am

          Rita I would love for you to be a part of some of our little luncheons. I would also love to hear more on your point of view on this one. πŸ˜‰ G-uno

          • #5 by Rita on May 5, 2016 - 11:36 am

            I was mulling it around a bit yesterday. I agree that there will always be things that people keep back, protect or even cherish. Maybe some is shame? Who knows. I think a lot may be fear.

            I think it’s a matter of feeling safe or keeping a loved one safe and feeling somewhat in control in a world not known for its control.

            Fear can be a huge motivator in this regard. As much as we love our friends, we have no way of knowing how they will react to some of our darker truths.

            Then there’s me. I don’t give a fuck how people will react. I just don’t believe I owe people every piece of me. I’ve always been absolutely bumfuzzled by societies’ hounding of celebrities and the whole rag journalism industry.

            I could never understand how anyone could possibly believe that because someone played music or acted for them that we were now entitled to know who, how or where they fuck. I still don’t care.

          • #6 by idioglossiablog on May 5, 2016 - 7:00 pm

            And that my friend is why you are so freaking AWESOME! For me it depends on if I love the person. If I do love you then it goes without saying I hold great respect as well. That also means that I would be affected by the way that person sees me. I’m strong enough not to let anyone’s disapproval of me change me, but there are those people who I would care about how they would perceive me. “I just don’t believe I owe people every piece of me.” That sums it up for me in a nutshell! ox G-uno

          • #7 by Rita on May 6, 2016 - 12:28 am

            Yep!!! I agree that there are those in my life that I choose to keep out of the seventh-ring of hell that I can sometimes stir up. And I suppose it’s both to protect them and me.

          • #8 by idioglossiablog on May 6, 2016 - 12:29 pm

            Agreed! G-uno

  2. #9 by Jay on May 5, 2016 - 1:39 am

    I definitely keep tonnes to myself. I wouldn’t even tell my closest friends about the details of my relationship because that’s the one that’s sacred and that’s the one I protect.

    • #10 by idioglossiablog on May 5, 2016 - 11:14 am

      Jay I agree, and I think that’s key to why some relationships are long-term relationships. Building an intimacy that connects you on a uniquely deep level. Sacred is the perfect word! G-uno

  3. #11 by g2 on May 10, 2016 - 6:24 pm

    Trying to keep my mother-in-law from finding out about the deep seeded-hatred my ex had for them was an interesting turn of events. I thought my MIL was such a chicken shit, but feeling some need to protect her was a bit weird.

    She left my FIL because… well, he was a great Ideaman but a shitty Follow-through man. He easily made 60k/year but never had a dime to show for it. His house was listed in the foreclosure section of the newspaper at least once a year. My MIL had 3 kids to raise with that kind of rollercoaster for a spouse. She was right to leave. My ex blamed her for everything though. She made 14k/year and raised three kids, she was a fucking hero. It took a while, but I’m glad my ex finally saw it too.

    • #12 by idioglossiablog on May 12, 2016 - 6:46 pm

      Some secrets absolutely need to remain secrets. πŸ˜‰ G-uno

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