kicking diabetic ass: day three, coffee without goop sucks butt (g2)

So from my prior posts, I read the study of about 800 calories a day for 8 weeks. My personal goal was actually 500. I found a couple shakes to try, figured I’d mix and match since I really couldn’t find one that I would call perfect, that had the right calories/carb ratio I was looking for while still being nutritionally sound.

One was pretty good taste-wise, but the other sucked. Of course the sucky one was the one who got the nutritional grade of A on my little tracker app. I also got a third powder that is extremely low calorie but gives a veggie boost to other shakes. It does not go in the sucky one, even if it was meant to…. no. Mix some vanilla extract with grass from your lawnmower if you want that sensation.

The surprise in all this was the hostility I got from my kid. Spawn seemed to be under the impression I was suddenly going to morph into one of those people who talks protein, carb load, cyclic somethingorother, synergetic flibbertygibbet and bumfiddle twiddlesticks.

Example: when I took Spawn to a running shoe store to get them properly sized and outfitted with good shoes, Spawn picked up one of those energy gels packets and asked “what’s this?”

Me:”Boob milk from a cyborg.” (The Oatmeal)

The poor guy who helped us about choked and just said “W…What?!?!” in fits of laughter. At least his skinniness didn’t kill his sense of humor.

That is me getting down with the fitness lingo, folks.

Spawn got annoying enough I lashed out with “No, I’d just like to keep my legs attached, along with my eyes and my kidneys, ok?” I upset them, but I got sick of the incessant nitpicking and rude remarks. Apparently, they were convinced I was going to make them do this as well.

The only problem we have come across is that when I don’t “eat,” Spawn doesn’t want to eat either and then ends up starving in the middle of night. I tried to make some more creative things, but still on the OK list for Spawn’s pallette. They didn’t eat much though. This turned into another argument, but I think Spawn is finally started getting it.

I slept a lot that first day, but I wasn’t hungry and I felt ok.

The next day I ended up with a headache, today too. I realized I was consuming even less calories than the 500 I’d allotted for myself, another thing to fix.

Spawn actually had my shake made for me this morning, even asking questions about why potatoes were a no no and what calories really were. It was cool. I explained protein, carbs and fats, and why runners ate carbs right before a run, but why a diabetic should never do this. Why peas, corn and even bananas were more akin to cake to the diabetic body than other vegetables.

I also told Spawn I already had a cheat day lined up on my birthday in a couple weeks, as I didn’t want to use it as an excuse to wait until later to start what I was doing now, so I’d already picked out what kind of cake I wanted and that I wanted to eat at my favorite sandwich and salad spot.

Oddly, I got excited when I found out I could eat an entire bag of brussel sprouts. I miss chewing mostly. Sure, when smelling good food, its tempting to try it, but just being able to chew something is oddly calming when you do nothing but drink all day (shut up, you lushes!). You’d think gum would be more my thing.

I’m waiting for the ravenous, frothing beast to show up though.

I haven’t spoken about any of this to my co-workers and it looks like the owners are forcing my department into a “working lunch” sometime soon. I’m not terribly sure how to handle that one. Cross that bridge when I come to it, I suppose.

I usually have coffee in the morning at work and not having it would start a conversation I’d rather not have. You’d think most people would ignore others, but I have coworkers who are oddly honed into the subtle changes in the habits of those around them.

Coffee in an office is not the greatest, nor is the crap you put into it to make it tolerable, but still, its more tolerable because the crap is in it. I have no room in this diet for any coffee crap. This makes me sad. It also makes for a large cup of coffee that is rather skanky.

*sigh*

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  1. #1 by Rita on May 18, 2016 - 11:33 am

    I love you! Haha. Lawnmower grass and vanilla extract?

    • #2 by g2 on May 18, 2016 - 3:02 pm

      There is just some shit that should never be sold to humans…. you have got to be cattle to eat that, for real. 🙂

      • #3 by Rita on May 18, 2016 - 3:22 pm

        Agreed

        • #4 by idioglossiablog on May 19, 2016 - 3:34 pm

          I’m starting to wonder if the health industry, in part, isn’t just trolling the shit out of us to see what we will consume in the quest for personal perfection. My bets are on the liquid butter/vinegar diet. I don’t know who made the drinkable aloe and coconut juice, but that shit takes like the inside of my mouth after the aftermath of a stomach bug. I’m convinced that people who say they like it are paid to lie to sucker the rest of us.

          • #5 by Rita on May 19, 2016 - 4:16 pm

            I would have to agree!

  2. #6 by idioglossiablog on May 18, 2016 - 10:44 pm

    We won’t discuss the bacon wrapped scallops I scarfed down… I ‘m proud of you because I can’t be a grown up about the food yet , but I am exercising. G-uno

    • #7 by g2 on May 19, 2016 - 3:25 pm

      And since I’ve not been eating meat, I didn’t have any breakfast because today is business lunch day, you’re making me hungry.

      That’s not too bad actually. If it were drowned in hollandaise sauce, real bad…. over risotto… hella worse. I’m a firm believer in having your cake and eating the shit out of it too. You may have to change the way the cake is made, but by damn, you should be able to have the fucking cake ;P

      one of my biggest “don’t let me around these unsupervised” is reese’s cups. I found that a pudding/mousse and almond butter together made a pretty tasty “fix” as a substitute, but finding your own workover is sometimes a personal quest.

      I had a type 1 boss who loved fruitcake, but of course could never have it. It took a good Aldi raid in their Fit N Active brand and an excel spreadsheet but by damn I found a way for her to have fruitcake.

      • #8 by idioglossiablog on May 20, 2016 - 10:29 am

        Way to go! I never understood why we can’t why we should have a cake we couldn’t eat. 😉 G-uno

        • #9 by g2 on May 20, 2016 - 4:40 pm

          I had this explained to me once, and although they spent a couple hours on the philosophical aspect of it and my ears kind of skimmed, it sums up best that if you eat the cake, you won’t still have it as it no longer exists. So you can’t have the cake remain existing, and still get to eat it.

          This might be what I hear people referring to as “meta.”

          • #10 by idioglossiablog on May 20, 2016 - 7:23 pm

            They are wrong lol, a moment on my lips and a lifetime on my hips! 😉 Seriously your a total warrior, and I’m hugely proud of all your doing! It’s an awesome lesson for Spawn. G-uno

  1. kicking diabetic ass: day five, a bowl of spinach should not make anyone this excited (g2) | idioglossia: the blog
  2. kicking diabetes ass: week 3, day 4… feed me, seymour! (g2) | idioglossia: the blog

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