So I Did A Drive-By Ambush On Tarzan (G-uno)

On my way back from Home Depot I purposely drove by Tarzan’s house with the intention of ambushing him with a bush. He and I have been bonding over our love of gardening, so I thought I might break the ice with a couple of Gardenia bushes. Of course he wasn’t out front digging around so I made my way to his back yard with both bushes in arm, and mostly covering my face much like the next door neighbor on the old Tim Allen show.
Luckily for me he was actually out by the pool watering his new bed of Mexican Petunias. I was dreading the idea of knocking on his door thinking that if he saw it was me he might not answer at all. He turned around with the hose in hand, and smiled so I instantly felt relieved that I wasn’t going to be hosed down either. I told him that we needed to get these bushes into the ground so that they would have the advantage of all the afternoon showers we’ve been getting.
I’ve been married to Mr G-uno long enough to know that men don’t enjoy analyzing things the way that women do so chit- chat over the botched proposal was not on the table. We planted the Gardenias then we sat at his outside table guzzling some ice-tea. The humidity where we live is nothing short of what I would imagine Hell to be like. Tarzan looked at me and said “So did the girls send you over to spy on me?” I laughed, and told him “No I decided to ambush you with some bushes all on my own.”
I went further to say that “Not that it mattered, but for the record we love the idea of you, and Jane being a forever deal.” He told me he was not sure that Jane was on the same page. That maybe she had everything she needed emotionally from our little circle. So I told him he wasn’t the only significant other to feel that way. Then I reminded him how disinterested Jane would be in seeing any of us walking around the house naked. 😉
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  1. #1 by Rita on May 23, 2016 - 1:00 pm

    This is perfect! I love your spirit ❤️

  2. #3 by g2 on May 23, 2016 - 5:41 pm

    Jane is amazing. It took me two years to date and if the M word was mentioned I was gone before the rest of the sentence even finished.

    An ex with whom I’m still very good friends once asked me what they could have done differently, to which I responded “I get 99% of the problem was me, but I do have to ask… who has a ‘where is this going’ conversation two weeks into dating?” They laughed and kind of went “yeah, that was a bad idea…”

    But all I could tell them was that, considering my state of being then, and probably still now, they would probably have won me over by never mentioning it. I told them on the relationship scene I was more like a feral cat in such that you only give them as much as they can stand and then back off. Had they taken that approach, we’d probably been living together before I would have even noticed. It might never have gotten an “I do” out of me, but it would be no less valuable.

    • #4 by idioglossiablog on May 23, 2016 - 8:28 pm

      I can totally see that entire perspective. Putting your self out there wide open is scary stuff! G-uno

      • #5 by g2 on May 23, 2016 - 9:00 pm

        Yeah especially in Jane’s case where she was in “amping up the romance in my marriage” mode and then just whiplashed into singlehood and a new relationship before she’s had time to breathe.

        That she even showed back up shows a restraint I’m not sure I could have duplicated. I don’t even think her brain has had the time to reconcile with the vast amount of emotions she’s had steamrolling around the last year.

        Of course, in my case I had a spouse who systematically went to eliminate outside ties just so I only had them, it was suffocating. It’s also weird how long you tend to let that go on before you notice you have nothing outside this little bubble of their creation. I tend to go right back to that feeling when I hear words that relate to “forever”.

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