“The Demon You Knew” (G-uno)

Sam once told me his parents knew what he was even before he did. His mother always looked at him with such disgust. He ached for her acceptance, and she made a lifelong choice to withhold giving it to him. Which is why I nicknamed her ” The Bitch.” I openly called her this to her face, because she openly humiliated Sam to mine.
Listening to her never ending beratement of her (in her words) fairy son was difficult enough to swallow, but nothing was more excruciating than watching Sam’s longing for her acceptance. I hated her with every ounce of my being. The fine line here was that being a broken kid myself I knew the only thing worse than having a fucked up parent was having your friends look at you like the star of some after school movie special of the week.
Correction the absolute worst part of being broken was the friends who were so shocked by your homelife that they tried to rescue you. They always thought that by exposing what was going on in your life there would be some sort of happy ending. When the truth was that even the other adults knew that going for that after school special happy ending was not how things worked. The thing about being broken is that not only did the others with” broken goggles” see you, but so did every other adult with the agenda to break you.
The appeal of having some stranger to deal with was overwhelmingly more frightening than dealing with the demon you knew. Sam’s mother was a drug addict, and his father was a drunken pedofile who had started abusing his son before he had even started school. His father left when he was six years old, after a teacher filed a complaint with social services.
There was this brief moment in time when Sam believed his life would be better, but “The Bitch” was no more a fairy godmother than her son was a fairy.

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  1. #1 by Rita on June 4, 2016 - 3:45 pm


  2. #2 by elementhealing on June 4, 2016 - 4:10 pm

    I can’t understand how any parent would do that to their child. I hope he is able to heal and move on.

  3. #3 by Robert Matthew Goldstein on June 4, 2016 - 6:28 pm

    Imagine all of the children who know that they are ‘different’ who must listen as our so-called ‘conservative leadership debate their right to exist.

    This is a powerful post as well as an indictment of parents who psychologically abuse heir children
    by refusing to accept them as they are. If there is a Hell I hope the man who sexually abused this boy is roasting in it.

    • #4 by idioglossiablog on June 4, 2016 - 6:59 pm

      Robert those who put themselves in positions of power to debate the rights of those who already exist, forget like all those who did this before them that eventually the people will reach their capacity to tolerate deplorable behavior. People like yourself, and so many others will not be silenced. The changes are way too slow, but we must peacefully continue to educate, reminding those who have forgotten that “We the people” are the government even though there are those who prefer us to feel helpless. G-uno

      • #5 by Robert Matthew Goldstein on June 4, 2016 - 8:02 pm

        The whole point of a democratic system of government is that WE are the government. If government is the problem it’s because WE are the problem.

        If we think we can improve the quality of our lives by starving the government of the funds it needs to serve OUR interests then WE are wrong. It is OUR government. WE are expected to use it to better OUR lives.

        I don’t know how the we were seduced into demonizing the government and the regulated economy that worked so well prior to Reagan but we’ve been in decline since the 1980’s. There is a reason for this decline. Reagan and his acolytes were not only wrong they were and are arrogantly wrong.

        We won’t recover until we accept responsibility for our collective mistakes and begin to make better political choices as a people.

        Thank you for this reply.

        • #6 by idioglossiablog on June 5, 2016 - 4:02 pm

          Kindred spirits for sure. It does go back to the whole premise that if we are not part of the solution then we are a part of the problem. We must do our part in voting out those officials who do not represent us in the way that we wish to be represented. We have to find a way to educate, and promote peaceful solutions. G-uno

          • #7 by Robert Matthew Goldstein on June 5, 2016 - 7:23 pm

            yes…what gives me hope is that people are now beginning to discuss the issues that matter. The GOP is stuck in smear mode but I sense that most people are not falling for it anymore.

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