In order for us to “win“ an argument it requires that somebody “loses.” An enormous ego is a lot like a well sharpened axe, and when you start swinging it around somebody is going to be cut. Some cuts may be superficial while others may leave horrible lasting scars, and some cuts are potentially deadly. The big question here is are we even thinking about the damage that can be done, or are we just so hurt by the other person’s strike that we just defend ourselves in any way that we can?
The long term effect of taking too many swipes at your person is the emotional equivalent of hacking them apart piece by piece until there’s nothing left to hack. Can rendering someone you love in this condition actually be viewed as a win? Yet in the heat of a moment when the gloves come off this is what can happen. Taking a moment to remind yourself that what you’re about to say can never be taken back would be an ideal solution.
In a perfect world there would be a “pause button” where we could stop, and evaluate why we are so ready to swing our sharpened axe. Then a “remember button” that reminds us that being willing to hurt someone irregardless of what we think they have said, or done is not love. It is in fact the complete opposite of love. Swinging that well sharpened axe may make you the winner in that battle, but the truth is you have just made someone you are suppose to love a loser.
There is two of us actually, G-uno and g2. We have been friends for a while, met through our own similarities in duality, openness and love of listening. Our differences as well as our similarities always border on the extreme.