I can honestly say to you that I am the queen of sunny side up. My gift in life is being able to find some shred of goodness in any situation, or person. I’m no freaking saint, I was just born this way. For all I know it may just be some mad coping skill, but I prefer to see the glass as half full. If I am loyal to you I will have your back from infinity to beyond. I can count on one hand still having fingers left over the number of times in my life I have given up on someone. After thirty-four years of marriage I am calling it quits.
I would rather drink from an unflushed toilet than to put up with another single day of my in-laws. Not all of them, but yes the freaking majority of them. I am so far beyond sick of their petty backstabbing, juvenile moronic behavior that if I had to swallow even a tiny morsel more of their crap I’m convinced I would self-ignite, and end up as a pile of ashes on the ground. Since I’m claustrophobic, and slightly germaphobic I cannot commit any act that would land me in jail. So the only possible solution for the Queen Of Sunnyside Up was a royal decree of excommunication.
You’re nodding, and scratching your head over there wondering if this is possible? Well yes wonder no more it is! I’ve come up with the master “Sunny side up plan.” I simply refuse to interact with them in any other way than a stern yes, no, or Mr. G-uno will have to get back to you on that. Why is this working for me? The answer is simple. I am no longer angry, hurt, or wracking my brain to try to repair these impossible relationships. I simply have grown too weary to exert any effort in any way. I no longer care.
Yes, I know if I no longer care then why am I posting about it? The answer is because for the first time in 34 years I have truly reached a place where my love has actually died. I am free from my own self made prison of believing that because they are my husband’s family I have to find a way to love them, to make a bond with them. I’m content with my efforts to try to form this impossible bond. I absolutely did everything within my power to be loyal to them, and it just simply failed. I think I’m just dazed by the fact that I am finally able to be at peace with this failure.
I’m not sure why it took me so long to get here, but the sweet taste of freedom has been almost intoxicating. In fact there are a few other irritants I’m considering exiling from the Kingdom of “Sunny Side Up.” 🙂