I’m like the frozen mosquito in the movie Jurassic Park. I’m stuck in a moment in time where I can hear, see and feel everything , but I am simply unable to jump back into my life. I do this sometimes when all the emotions around me become completely unbearable. Unbearable for me is when I feel too many emotions all at once, but I’m uncertain about how to react. Usually this is my strong suit in life, but at this moment in time it is not.
I am temporarily broken. I desperately want to see things as they really are, but I instinctively know that the people in my life are not giving me all the details. I’m caught between the idea that they need time to work things out for themselves, and the feeling of being slapped in the face. I am a giant pain in the backside because I don’t know how to do anything half heartedly when it comes to matters of the heart.
When you love so deeply the lines between what is their business, and what is yours become terribly blurred. If you ask me to step back I can do that, but I can not bear being lied to especially when you have asked for my uncensored honestly without giving me yours. I will pull up my big girl pants, but first I need to find a way to thaw out. 😉
There is two of us actually, G-uno and g2. We have been friends for a while, met through our own similarities in duality, openness and love of listening. Our differences as well as our similarities always border on the extreme.