Archive for May, 2017
I believe all of us go through various stages of our lives where we look up and suddenly think, “I HATE my life right now.”
I did that just before I got a divorce. I did the same when I hated the job and the town I lived in and just found out I was going to be a parent and moved a couple thousand miles back.
I had the same when Spawn was a few years old and my career was… well, really fucking boring and leaving me strapped. It was mindless, repetitive, and just when I was done and updating my resume, I received a call from a former boss who wanted to lure to me their current company. Not only would I be using more of my brain, it held a significant pay raise.
It was great too, for a while. But one of my co-workers was as mercurial as they come and I was often walking on eggshells. The work itself was great and I was learning a ton, but the environment… not so much. However, a friendly buyout that turned hostile takeover nixed that job for all of us. The best time I had there was when the mercurial one jumped ship early on and the rest of us just didn’t give a shit anymore.
I landed this job right as I was ending that one. The work itself is a mostly mindless again, but the pay, on paper, is better. What I get to take home though, is significantly less than it was at my last job and although I know the benefits are a part of that, I didn’t think they were that big of a chunk.
We’re given no authority over our own position, but then they complain that no one takes initiative. Neither owner can keep their hands out of the cookie jar when things are good, and don’t hesitate to jump your shit when they aren’t. Hell, the CFO’s mom just died last week and one of the owners commented to her yesterday “What the hell is wrong with you, you look like your dog died?” She broke down so badly she had to go home.
Right now, things aren’t so great and its all to do with that fact that when we’re in our busy profitable season, the owners couldn’t buy new toys fast enough, despite my boss continually telling them we would need to sock away what we could for the lean season. They assume no one has their grand vision, so any counsel is ignored.
This is also when I’m told my communication needs work. I’m the connection the outside world comes to when they want information and when things aren’t going so well, that communication increases by several fold. It means I have to come in and choose whether I’m going to do my job or just sit there and get back to people and I do balance both. But the bottom line is I’m never going to be able to make someone happy if I can’t give them what they were promised and that’s what they want me to do.
So I hate my job. I hate where I live. I hate that I hate both so much that I’m both restless and uninspired to do even the little things. I hate the debt I hold for a degree that has proven nothing but worthless and I feel that it will inhibit everything else I do for the rest of my life.
I want to move, I want to have a cafe, on the side of a cliff with a view to the ocean and I want it too fucking cold to see even a single surfer unless they are batshit insane.
But for not, I would settle for moving to the area where I hope my daughter’s future school is and get a job that lets me take home the amount I was promised, or at least a significantly bigger portion than current.
I want to get just a little ahead instead of struggling so far behind.
I want to be inspired.
I want to be challenged mentally.
I feel like a corpse in motion.
In the spirit of truthful beginnings Jane decided to confess that she had slept with her Ex-hubby while she, and Tarzan were broken up. As you might imagine this was a complete disaster! As if Tarzan wasn’t already swimming in the land of insecurities regarding Jane he now found himself insanely jealous. He was also pretty pissed. Sex with the Ex rarely turns out to be a good decision, and sharing that information with someone you hope to build a relationship with is an even worse decision,
Don’t get me wrong I am a huge fan of telling the truth, but I’m an even bigger fan of leaving Exes in the Ex zone. Why did Jane tell him about her disastrous slip you ask? Well the even better question here is why she decided to tell him this after the first time she, and Tarzan slept together since their break-up. Jane said that after making love to Tarzan she was filled with guilt. She said that she just decided to put it all out there rather than taking the chance of Ex-hubby being the one to let the cat of the bag in the long run.
I absolutely got the logic in that concept, it was the timing that threw me off the deep end. I probably would have opted for confessing before the reunion sex. 😉
My company is having an “employee appreciation” function, in the stank southern heat, to watch baseball, with the stipulation “one adult guest allowed.” Meaning of course, no kids.
As you can tell, I have 0 interest in going. We were chided a bit by Yankee Heather since she was the only one from our department who attended last year. not like I give a shit her about her indignation, but it did get me wondering…
How do you guys feel about employee appreciation functions?
To me, this is set up very exclusionary and unwelcoming. Most of us do have families and having to spend my free time looking at the same fucking people I’m paid to work with “for fun” doesn’t sound like fun to me at all. Hell I wouldn’t want to go outside to watch baseball with people I like.
On the other hand, I do completely understand the important of good employee rapport. There is a lot of friction between the respective departments since only a few of us get we’re all cogs in the same damn machine.
But to me, they could be a lot more inclusive if they really wanted to show “appreciation”… say, by inviting the employees AND their families, having things that all spectrums of ages can do and enjoy. Another place I worked did something like this at a park (with trees and things to shade), served food, bit of beer with the soda, had an inflatable slide, bingo, a ton of other small inexpensive but fun things I cannot even recall right now and everyone from old to young all said they had a blast. My boss actually spent most of the time on the slide… I miss that boss…
So to me its kind of a slap in the face to be forced to watch something only a few of us enjoy in awful unshaded southern weather with only a limited amount of people actually invited with the added expense of wrangling a babysitter to do that. Um, fuck ’em?
How do guys feel about that kind of stuff? Important? Not so much?