what’s your biggest weakness? (g2)

Although the answer to this question is rather easy and there are several, they are all definitely not ones I can say during an interview.

  • I am honest, and I have all the tact of a sledgehammer to the face at times. I would rather get to the point and move to the next than stroke anyone’s ego.
  • I will never kiss ass. If I think someone is in a position of power solely based on the politics played versus any intelligence, I have no respect and I will not waste effort pretending. Common courtesy sure, but don’t push it. I really just cannot fathom working under someone I believe to be dumber than myself and have left positions solely for that reason. I’m there to learn and grow, not stick my hands up the ass of an idiot to make them look good.
  • I have a pet peeve of someone asking me the same question repeatedly in short periods of the time, that upon the third, I’d prefer to punch them in the throat. This is less to due with fetus-level trainees and more to do with wizened executives who just are not listening to anything they do not wish to hear.
  • I have a short temper. It pisses me off about myself because deep down inside I know that revenge is only served best with indifference. I consider myself pretty good most of the time with maintaining a thick skin, but it does depend on the person and just how long I’ve had to be exposed to dumb-shittery. Even that muscle needs a resting phase.
  • However, there are many times when I wish I had stood up more for myself or others when I had the chance. I hate it and myself for it, but I get stunned sometimes by the absolute dumbfuckery of some people and by the time I’ve recovered, the moment for retribution has passed… and a witty comeback would fall to little more than “I know you are, but what am I?”
  • I wish I had the guts to run as soon as I know I detest where I’m working and any effort on my part will be a pointless waste of my time. I have seen people come on the job with radiance and intellect, assess the situation they have walked into with razor sharp accuracy and walk with no hesitation. I am a coward. I have to have a net to fall into. I have to have something lined up. In order to have something lined up, you have to put forth the effort to look. I will instead devote time trying to spoon the shit out of the hole I’m currently employed instead. I wear myself out and fail to devote any time for an escape plan.

So how does one, even marginally, translate this into a response eligible for a job interview?

I am constantly working on more effective communication, as it is vital to an ideal work environment and I don’t believe it is something I will stop considering a work in progress.

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