Posts Tagged confessions

Jane Tells Tarzan That She Slept With Ex-hubby (G-uno)

In the spirit of truthful beginnings Jane decided to confess that she had slept with her Ex-hubby while she, and Tarzan were broken up. As you might imagine this was a complete disaster! As if Tarzan wasn’t already swimming in the land of insecurities regarding Jane he now found himself insanely jealous. He was also pretty pissed. Sex with the Ex rarely turns out to be a good decision, and sharing that information with someone you hope to build a relationship with is an even worse decision,
Don’t get me wrong I am a huge fan of telling the truth, but I’m an even bigger fan of leaving Exes in the Ex zone. Why did Jane tell him about her disastrous slip you ask? Well the even better question here is why she decided to tell him this after the first time she, and Tarzan slept together since their break-up. Jane said that after making love to Tarzan she was filled with guilt. She said that she just decided to put it all out there rather than taking the chance of Ex-hubby being the one toย let the cat of the bag in the long run.
I absolutely got the logic in that concept, it was the timing that threw me off the deep end. I probably would have opted for confessing before the reunion sex. ๐Ÿ˜‰

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Confessions Of Hospice Nurses Part 2 (G-uno)

The weirdest thing about being in a room with someone who is dying is that feeling that they are more in that room than they have ever been in any room before. The second weirdest thing is realizing that there are only a few other people who completely get that concept. There is an unexplainable kind of energy that affects everyone in a distinctively different way. I always find myself wondering if the person who is dying uses the interactions of the other people who enter the room as a sort of distraction from the intense work of separating themselves from this life. Almost like live reality television.
Some people are like Nurse “D,” who has been a Hospice nurse for many years. She is fully aware of Ellie May Clampet’s existence in the room, but only speaks to her if she performing some nursing practice on her. I think this is her way of remaining objective during the process. Nurse “D” is one of the batshit crazy nurses. Highly religious hands held in the air praying type, who speaks in a loud thunderous voice. Her confession began by first asking me how long I had been married. She, and her husband have been married 5 years less than we have.
As I bathed Ellie May Clampet, she began telling us her story. She was unhappy in her marriage. Her husband is a cold man, who shows her no affection. She attributes his coldness to a distant relationship he shares with his mother. He hasn’t physically touched her in years. Everyday is the same for them. They wake up, go to work, come home, and he eats his dinner in front of the television. Every day she attempts to have a conversation with him which always ends in a heated argument with him throwing his dinner away, and walking out. She has been reaching out to the men in her church about this, and one of them has reached back. As she continues her story I see that she is no longer really speaking to us, but to herself outloud. She was trying to avoid taking responsibility for her affair by saying that the Godly thing to do was to stay in the marriage. I knew she was trying to convince herself, because the idea of ending things was more than she could face.
Nurse “M” unlike Nurse “D”was a much happier person. She had been happily married since high school, and had raised 6 children. She told me with 6 kids in the house she and her husband had become quite creative in their love making. On one occasion they told their children they were going to clean out the basement, knowing none of them would venture down the stairs for fear of being recruited to help out with the cleaning. Feeling quite adventurous she threw in a load of laundry, and then her husband threw her on top of the washing machine. In her words I quote “As he was cleaning my laundry our youngest wandered downstairs with my in-laws catching us in full cycle!” She looked up after hearing her MIL scream while covering the eyes of her son. Now Nurse “M” was laughing so hard she could barely tell me that this was one of the best things that had ever happened to them, because her in-laws never came over again uninvited.
Nurse “H” a sassy little number from N.J. was not the sitting type. He insisted on helping me with Ellie May’s bath & linen changing. Like myself he seem to be aware of how much Ellie May was in the room. His confession was directed to us both. He started out by telling us how he ended up being a Hospice nurse. His mother had colon cancer, but by the time it had been diagnosed it was too late. She had been placed under Hospice’s care while remaining in her home. Nurse “H” was in his early teens when this occurred. He played a large role in caring for his mother in her final days, and knew in his heart that he would someday work for Hospice. His way of honoring his mother. He spoke with Ellie May in the gentle way a son would speak to his own mother. He also had hopes of communicating with those who had already passed on from this life. Although he did not directly say it to us I understood he was holding on to the hope of one last conversation with his mom.
Ellie May’s family wander in, and out of her tiny room. Most are unable to directly interact with her. For those members just being in the room conjures up painful thoughts of how she may be feeling. Believing that she is consciously there makes her condition unbearable. Then there are a couple who believe like Nurse “H” & I do. We feel her presence, and continue to speak to her in the same way we would if she were completely conscious. Energy is a powerful thing so irregardless of how a person chooses to be present for someone, the important thing is that you are there. As for those of you who are worried about what is occurring when you can not be present I can honestly tell you that for the most part your loved one is being well entertained with some pretty interesting confessions. ๐Ÿ˜‰


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Confessions From Hospice Nurses Part 1 (G-uno)

In my opinion the majority of nurses can be divided into two basic categories the amazing Florence Nightingales, or the batshit crazy ones. Of course those two categories branch off into a thousand other categories, but those are most definitely the first two divisional starting points. “Ellie May Clampet” is dying. This is the part of my job that I absolutely hate.
She is an amazing woman who has lived a first rate life. I call her “Ellie May Clampet” for two reasons. The first is to protect her privacy, and the second is because in her younger photos she looks just like the beautiful blonde bombshell character in the old television series “The Beverly Hillbillies.” We have reached the stage where Hospice nursing is required around the clock.
Before every nurse out there wants to hang me from the nearest tree, let me just say I have the deepest respect for “MOST” of the nurses out there, but even you all cannot deny that the batshit crazy ones do exist. They are just a part of the whole medical community experience. I know most of you work your backsides off to care for your patients. You have a thankless job where your patients, their family members, doctors, D.O.N.s, CNAs, and facility managers who don’t have a clue as to what you do bitch, moan, and complain to you endlessly. I am truly sorry for this because you are truly extraordinary human beings.
Then there are you the “batshit crazy ones,” (stop shaking your heads you know who you are) the ones who pocket your patients antianxiety meds & pain killers. You hover over your nursing carts pretending to be busy, shaking your heads in the yes motion to every plea that comes your way while you simultaneously manage to never meet even one single request. There’s also the always stressed messed nurse who barks at anyone who even ventures to approach her cart. It keeps people from approaching you at all so you can hide until your wretched shift is over.
Hospice Nurses are usually nurses who have been floor nurses at hospitals, or other facilities. After years of dealing with the system they decide to revisit their initial desire to fully have time to care for a patient on a one to one personal basis. I believe that is the inner dream of all nurses. The system quickly robs your ability to fulfill this noble desire,and may even be somewhat be responsible for flipping a Florence Nightingale type into they batshit crazy type. Once again deep respect for the truly dedicated nurses who deal with this most difficult end of life nursing. That being said you tend to draw in your own special brand of batshit crazy nurses.
Ellie May’s family (a beautiful bunch who love their mother deeply) have asked me to continue being their mom’s assistant as she makes her journey to the other side. I have agreed to this so now when I am with her I am also sharing this time with her Hospice nurses. I prefer to physically care for Ellie May in the way that I have since we began our time together. While caring for her some of her nurses have decided to confide in me, sharing their personal stories. I think the fact that we are sharing this small room early in the morning with no one else there except Ellie May, makes it the perfect setting to tell two people who you will not see again some pretty personal confessions. ๐Ÿ˜‰



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