Posts Tagged gift
He was staring at the rain as it pounded down onto the glass. It wasn’t as though he’d never seen rain before, but more that he understood it might be the last time that he would. I watched him from the doorway of his room. I was familiar with the deafening sound of the silence that takes over when a person has reached the acceptance of the end of their journey in this life. The difference for me this time was that I had not accepted his end.
He turned slowly to look at me. His face was drawn, and pale. His presence in the room was so large even as his life force diminished. I could not even force my everything is okay smile. We knew each other much to well to even make the attempt. My throat ached from trying to hold back my tears. He walked towards me holding out his arms, and like a little girl I fell into them weeping uncontrollably.
I wept because I could not take away his fears. I wept because I knew we had reached an ending point, and although he had accepted his journey’s end he was not ready to leave. I wept because I was making him be strong for me, when I should have been being strong for him. Mostly I wept because I didn’t want to let him go.
Love pours through tears. It is so powerful that there is no longer a need for words. It takes over every aspect of your being, and in the moments in between you know that you have been a part of something more beautiful than anything you have the capability to imagine. You have loved unconditionally, and you have been loved equally back. I think the secret to life is the moments in between.
It’s about to get all kinds of sappy on here so if sugar isn’t your thing now’s the time to hit the next post. For those of you with a sweet tooth this one’s for you! New years Eve is my husband’s birthday. He and I have celebrated thirty-four birthdays together starting with my seventeenth. I have been unlucky in many aspects of my life, but this is the one area where I consider myself to be “lottery jack-pot like” lucky!
He showed up in my study hall during my junior year in high-school. It wasn’t until four months later that our teacher finally realized he was not scheduled to be a student in this particular study hall. When she confronted him with this newly found observation his reply was that he felt it was the best way to share a class with me without actually being interrupted by the educational process. She responded by having him removed from the class.
My husband sees the world from an entirely different viewpoint than most people I know. Rules have their place, but this is his life, and if the rule doesn’t make sense why should you continue to follow something that does not apply to your situation. He has reminded me on more than one occasion that the nobles in life are only noble because someone had the intuitive to decide that no other man should have the right to govern his life. Having been raised to follow the rules in life, you can imagine the intrigue that came with thought process! Not to mention it was being delivered with the most handsome face and beautiful green eyes I had ever seen.
He is like an invincible hero type character in life strong physically and mentally. He is one of those people who just decides something can be done, and he does it irregardless of what the goal may require. Fearless, highly coordinated, and incredibly capable at most endeavors. His Achilles heel is his inability to recognize the more complicated emotions of other people. He never stops to wallow in any hardship he encounters and in turn doesn’t see the need for others to get bogged down in all that time-wasting wallowing either.
He is hands down a stubborn Swede with a pension for perfectionism. He can be unrelenting once he has made up his mind. He is also an amazing husband, friend, and lover. The kind of father who drops anything he is doing to spend time with our children, or help them with anything they may need. Over the years we have laughed, stayed up all night just talking or making love, we have fought just like anybody else in a life-long relationship, and raised two amazing children. In all our years together, never once have I not known for even a single second that I have been the luckiest woman in the world to have had this man in my life.
We’ve always joked that everybody celebrates his birthday. It’s tradition for the person whose birthday it is to be the recipient of gifts, but the truth is that even though it’s his birthday he is my gift in this life. My News Year Eve gift, a man worthy of being celebrated by everyone. 😉