Posts Tagged gratitude
He was staring at the rain as it pounded down onto the glass. It wasn’t as though he’d never seen rain before, but more that he understood it might be the last time that he would. I watched him from the doorway of his room. I was familiar with the deafening sound of the silence that takes over when a person has reached the acceptance of the end of their journey in this life. The difference for me this time was that I had not accepted his end.
He turned slowly to look at me. His face was drawn, and pale. His presence in the room was so large even as his life force diminished. I could not even force my everything is okay smile. We knew each other much to well to even make the attempt. My throat ached from trying to hold back my tears. He walked towards me holding out his arms, and like a little girl I fell into them weeping uncontrollably.
I wept because I could not take away his fears. I wept because I knew we had reached an ending point, and although he had accepted his journey’s end he was not ready to leave. I wept because I was making him be strong for me, when I should have been being strong for him. Mostly I wept because I didn’t want to let him go.
Love pours through tears. It is so powerful that there is no longer a need for words. It takes over every aspect of your being, and in the moments in between you know that you have been a part of something more beautiful than anything you have the capability to imagine. You have loved unconditionally, and you have been loved equally back. I think the secret to life is the moments in between.
Our little blog is not huge in its following, but I take huge pride in the fact that those who do seem to be way above average in their I.Q’s. I am never let down by your thoughts on a variety of different subjects. There is an old quote that states the best mirror is a friend’s eye. This certainly has become true with our followers. I not only appreciate your insight, but I look forward to knowing what you are thinking. So thank you all so much for taking the time to share your thoughts.
Unanimously no one felt like Tarzan’s deceit should be given a second chance. LOL if Jane knew about this blog she would be entirely pleased to know you shared her opinion. I read, and reread all of your comments. I really couldn’t disagree with anyone’s point of view so I will swallow my tiny nagging inner doubt, and move forward. Jane is incredible in every way so I have great faith that the “Universe” will remember this. I also have faith that she will meet a man who will not break her trust.
The only thing worse than being hurt in this life is seeing someone you love get hurt.
Having a front row seat to your friend’s 30+ year marriage falling apart before your very eyes has been absolutely brutal to say the least. All of us have been existing in the “Twilight Zone” since our very close friend’s hubby dropped the bomb that he was moving out right before Thanksgiving. My emotions have been all over the place. Watching someone you love go through something so hurtful can really put your problems into proper perspective.
Finding a balance between supporting your friend, while maintaining your own life is a bit like walking the tight rope, balance is key. I have to tell you that I have not sent a single card, pulled out my menorah, or put up a tree. There isn’t a single indication that we are all smack dab in to the middle of the holiday season. Luckily my family understands my love for my friends. They also know I have a hard time being happy when someone I love is in such an unhappy place.
I struggle with remembering that other parts of my life need my attention as well. Mr. G-uno was raised right! He does not complain when the things I usually do are left undone, or the fact that between being a support for my friend, and working my job have kept me away for long periods of time. I took a look at our humble mess, as well as the calendar,and have come to the conclusion that I need to show some gratitude for all of his support without a single complaint. He has had a pretty tough year himself. He lost his father just 5 short months ago, and is tackling a a pretty major health issue himself.
So today I turned off my phone, my computer , and plugged fully into our life. We took the day off from saving the world to remember that our lives needed some attention. We slept in, and as I awoke I watched him as he slept. I thought about how no one is exempt from the possibility of having their lives turned completely upside down. Then I rolled over, and made love to my husband like there would not be a tomorrow.
The house remains undecorated. I have not shopped for a single gift, or filled out a single card. I did not clean up our home. Today I watched movies, drank coffee, cooked for my guys, and spent most of the day next to Mr. G-uno’s side. I am actually blogging beside him as he sleeps which brings me right back to the same moment when I awoke this morning. Today I managed to walk perfectly across that “Tight Rope.” 😉