Posts Tagged “The Universe”

Signs, Signs, Everywhere Signs… G-uno

I am a person who absolutely stands by scientific data. If you asked my family, and friends if I am a logically sane person the answer would be yes. I am however a person who believes in the existence of a higher spiritual existence. An existence that is much less accepted in our more scientific based world.
If you asked me to prove to you the spiritual things that I have encountered, I have had others with me to witness some of the signs. Like the majority of people, most of my witnesses would try feverishly to explain away what they have seen in order to escape some pretty harsh judgments by those who cannot accept the existence of things they cannot prove.
I personally don’t worry about that kind of judgement. I’m very secure with the things I have experienced, and for the most part my mental sanity. 😉 I will admit that I have been a bit off my personal game since the passing of “Bette Davis Eyes.” In my line of work I deal with the dying on a regular basis. I’m not completely sure why her death affected me so negatively, but it did. I think part of the reason is that I asked her to give me a sign. It’s something I do with all of my clients, and family members.
If “Bette Davis Eyes” gave me a sign then I completely missed it. I have been way off my personal game since her passing in December. In fact I have not taken one single dying client since she died.” The Universe” however has not given me a get out of death free card. My first cousin has been battling cancer since my last visit to Greece. He lost his battle last Tuesday.
There is never a great timing when a death occurs, but last Tuesday was a particularly difficult day for me because of my baby brother’s disability hearing. I have been fighting for this hearing for almost 10 years. I was absolutely wrecked over having to testify in front of him regarding the symptoms of his mental illness. He is fragile, and the idea of breaking him was almost unbearable. I have been praying, and I believe that those who have passed watch over us. so I ask for their guidance when something is particularly difficult for me. I also ask them for signs.
My daughter drove my brother, and I to the hearing which was about a 45 minute drive. I could not stop crying after I got the call that my cousin had passed. She knows I pray for signs. She’s more scientifically inclined like her father, but can not deny the things she has seen with her own eyes. First sign -the hearing was being held in a building that I took our elderly cousin who lived with us until her passing every Thursday for 5 years when she could no longer drive. Second sign- they sent us to room 420. My Father who I specifically asked for a sign from birthday is 4-20! I know all the non believers out there are shaking their heads, while muttering coincidence, but then came the 3rd sign.
While waiting to see the judge I continued to be unable to withhold my tears of grief. The guard thought that I was crying out of my fear of appearing in front of the judge. I apologized telling him I had gotten a call from Greece before coming, and was told my cousin had died. He told me he was sorry then smiled saying one of his closest buddies was a Greek. He tried to pronounce the not so popular town in Greece. I knew what he was trying to say, and said it for him. It was the town my cousins mother is from. It was where he would be buried! This is not a well known town. The chances of someone who even lives in Greece knowing this place are very unlikely.
I knew in my heart I was surrounded in love by those who watched over me. My daughter  just looked at me with bewilderment. Can I prove to you that this was nothing more than coincidence? No I can not, but can you prove that is was just a coincidence? 😉

 

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Bury The Hatchet? (G-uno)

Burying the hatchet? I’m having a hard time with this concept. My heart says yes, but my brain is screaming not a chance! I was on FB, and I saw a quote that said giving someone too many chances is the equivalent to giving someone the green light to continue to disrespect you. The premise being that if you keep forgiving someone for disrespecting you, they never worry about correcting the behavior because they know there will be no consequence for their behavior.

Then as I scrolled down a little further I saw the quote that said you can’t change the behavior of those around you, but you can change who you choose to be around. At this point I’m asking myself coincidence or signs from the “Universe?” I am more of a signs kind of gal 😉 so of course I continue to scroll a little further.

Then the next quote says choosing to forgive someone does not dismiss their bad behavior, but it does allow you to free yourself from the negativity of the situation. So now I start to believe that the “Universe” has become bored with all it’s other pressing matters, and has decided that messing with my mind is just way too amusing. I know what you’re thinking G-uno is getting stoned, or drinking, I swear I am doing neither.

I was simply using FB like some “Crazy Eight Ball” asking it questions, and then scrolling for an answer. This is what happens when I’m left to my own devices to amuse myself.  All joking aside I am trying to handle my anger from a humorous point of view. Still clinging to the notion that if you live by sword, you will die by the sword.

Then I spoke with my good friend about everything that was going through my mind, and she said with a huge mischievous grin that from where she was sitting she felt that I had two options. “One option was to bury the hatchet, ignoring the repetitive passive aggressive behaviors. The other was to expertly throw the hatchet so close to my SIL’s head that if she treated me that badly again she’d get the idea that we would be burying more than the hatchet.” Oh how I love that friend of mine! 😉

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The Alzheimer’s Whisperer (G-uno)

We are all born with certain talents, unique gifts that not only enhance our own personal journeys, but impact other souls as they travel along their’s. I have been nicknamed “The Alzheimer’s Whisperer.” I’m not exactly sure how this talent came into existence, but I am sure that the Universe has decided that it should be a part of my journey. My talent extends equally to babies/ children, and a wide range of people who might be categorized as uniquely misunderstood, but for this post we will stay focused with those souls who have Alzheimer’s.

Although I have always loved the very old, and the very young, my work interests have always leaned towards the medical field. I have worked with one of this countries finest retinal surgeons. The problem with this line of work is that you have to work with doctors. Don’t get me wrong I have the utmost respect for doctors, but working with them presents a number of issues that simply held very little satisfaction for my inner self. I made a much better salary, but it left my inner self destitute.

I have a love/hate relationship with this side of myself. I have the ability to live a much more lucrative lifestyle, but I’m only happy when I am doing what I love best. I have chosen to follow my heart over my bank account. Luckily I have married a man who seems to find this completely lovable. So I am a self-employed personal assistant who finds herself being hired over, and over again by a particular type of client (those with a very demanding employment), who seem to be in need of someone with my ability to organize while dealing with the more difficult loved ones in their lives.

G-uno to my fellow bloggers, but “The Alzheimer’s Whisperer” to many of my clients. Alzheimer’s is a brutal disease that forces people to lose their loved one’s twice in one life time. My gift is my ability to understand them once they have reached the point of being unable to convey their wishes for themselves. My gift to my clients is my ability to get their loved ones to cooperate in ways that lesson the enormous stress their inabilities place on their loved ones both physically but more importantly emotionally.

I can not explain to you how I understand my client’s wishes/needs, but I can tell you that within a half hour I am able to bring them great relief. I am also able to get them to do tasks they have been unable to do for years, or months prior to our meeting. I have a front row seat to being able to bring joy, and relief to both my clients, and those who are suffering. I am lucky because I wake up every day to the possibility of being able to bring great joy, and comfort to those who whisper in a way that only some can hear. 😉

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I’m Wide Awake (G-uno)

The Universe has a way of making sure you have actually learned the lesson you proclaim you have learned. Kind of like the pop quizzes your teachers threw your way to make sure you actually did learn your assignment. As a student I don’t think I realized that the purpose of the quiz was to make sure you had a solid foundation of understanding so that your next lesson would be a little easier to grasp.

Just as in this moment I am starting to understand that the Universe is the great teacher, and that life is the great lesson. So before I go any further let me say that I did pass yesterday’s pop quiz with a 90% passing grade. Normally my ego would be bruised by the fact that I made a B, instead of an A, but this was a particularly difficult quiz!

After four years of being by our loved one’s side at a long-term care facility watching our once healthy loved one dwindle slowly.and painfully in front of our eyes until the day we had to make the heart wrenching decision to turn off the feeding tube; changed me in a way that I seemed to be unable to understand. It was as though each day I could feel his emotion, his pain, and with each passing day I seemed to die a little bit with him.

I had slipped into the deepest depths of what I describe as “emotional quicksand.” I was emotionally paralyzed. So much so that I can honestly tell you I lost myself in those 4 years. It was absolutely brutal on every level. Then yesterday I get a phone call telling me our loved one’s brother-in-law (Someone our loved one,& I love deeply) has been hospitalized, barely able to speak from a small stroke. Next I am told he will be going to the same long-term facility our loved one had lived, and died in exactly 2 months ago tomorrow. He will even be staying on the same floor.

The uncle  is no stranger to this place, he visited our loved one there many times over the last 4 years. There it was this huge area of “emotional quicksand” open, and waiting for me to slip back inside to a way of existing without actually living. It was the Universe’s pop quiz. In the middle of this hauntingly familiar scenario I wanted for a split second go into the fetal position, and drown  myself in the quicksand. Hence the 90% grade. Ten percent marked off for even thinking of slipping back into the all too familiar beckoning quicksand!

Then as I held our uncle’s hand, fully aware of what will come I began to speak to him. Not about what will come, but about what was happening in that present moment. I did not ask him about his situation, instead we talked, and joked amongst ourselves in the same way he always loved, and did with us. Even though he could only listen. He did not hear fear, nor sadness. He heard family, laughter, and love.

I was overcome with the feeling of knowing I have learned my life lesson. I did leap over the quicksand, and straight into my fears. The next life lesson will begin, and this time I’m Wide Awake! 😉

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Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places (G-uno)

I have a theory about the true romantics of this world.We all know those amazing people who never seem able to find “The One.” As a self-proclaimed people watcher, over the years I have started to notice that this group shares some commonalities.They are smart, warm, funny, great at analyzing everyone else’s wonderful lives, and they all hate the whole dating thing! These true romantics are not interested in the appetizers, or salads of life they prefer to go straight to the main course.

They are the realists who don’t doubt the power of love, or fear the monotony of having a routine from day-to-day. They seem to know that incredible joy lies within what others might fear to be a just plain ordinary life. They are not the run away brides/grooms who wake up on their wedding day in the middle of an anxiety attack. They are the ones who run down the aisle so they can wake up, and begin their lives with the feeling of contentment never second guessing the idea that they didn’t choose the right person.

So why is it that these people never seem to be able to find “The One”? My theory is that we are all placed here to learn certain lessons in life. The true romantics intrinsically seem to understand the lesson of the importance of sharing your life with “The One” so the Universe places them on another journey so that they can experience the importance of other lessons their souls are have not yet learned.

Pink Floyd said “You can’t have any pudding until you eat your meat!” Maybe the Universe is saying “You can’t have your main course until you learn the importance of the appetizers, and the salads in life.” 😉

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The Thing About Daughters… (G-uno)

I was looking around on my FB page, and I saw this quote posted on my page from my daughter. “You are my best friend, my human diary, and my other half. You mean the world to me, and I love you.” You have to love that about life. One moment you’re sitting in front of your computer, coffee in hand thinking it’s just an ordinary day then the unexpected pops up reminding you that every day has the potential to be anything but ordinary.

I immediately thought of g2, and Gratuitous Rex! If you haven’t had a chance to check out his blog you are missing out. G2 wrote a post (Together In Silence) where g2 very openly discussed somethings that were perplexing with Spawn. I know that it is not  an issue to worry about, but I could see that it was something that weighed heavily on g2’s mind. I was thinking about that when I saw what my daughter had posted on my FB page.

The reason I thought about Gratuitious Rex was that I had just read another one of his posts that talked about coincidences. This is one of my favorite things he likes to post about on his blog. I had just left him a comment saying that I loved his references to coincidences, and that I refer to this kind of thing as signs from the Universe. The Universe’s way of keeping us on track through our journey in life. Still with me here?

I was trying to think of something to share with g2 to give some support regarding the situation with Spawn. When I saw the quote from my daughter it instantly pointed out what I could share with g2. This is the part where Gratuitous Rex would ask “Coincidence?”

What I wanted to share with g2 is the fact that when my daughter was about the same age as Spawn, I often felt perplexed about how she interpreted my reactions towards her, and vice versa. There were many times when our line of thinking was so far apart I wondered if things I had said, or done were causing her harm in some way that I was oblivious to. The truth is that no matter how we interpret our little interactions/moods, our bond was based on some incredible love. Our children know we love them.

They learn from our interactions who we are. We learn about who they are. Then comes this amazing moment when they become adults, and everything falls beautifully into place. Just when you think you couldn’t possibly love them more you do! Coincidence? 😉

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