Posts Tagged unforgettable moments
He was staring at the rain as it pounded down onto the glass. It wasn’t as though he’d never seen rain before, but more that he understood it might be the last time that he would. I watched him from the doorway of his room. I was familiar with the deafening sound of the silence that takes over when a person has reached the acceptance of the end of their journey in this life. The difference for me this time was that I had not accepted his end.
He turned slowly to look at me. His face was drawn, and pale. His presence in the room was so large even as his life force diminished. I could not even force my everything is okay smile. We knew each other much to well to even make the attempt. My throat ached from trying to hold back my tears. He walked towards me holding out his arms, and like a little girl I fell into them weeping uncontrollably.
I wept because I could not take away his fears. I wept because I knew we had reached an ending point, and although he had accepted his journey’s end he was not ready to leave. I wept because I was making him be strong for me, when I should have been being strong for him. Mostly I wept because I didn’t want to let him go.
Love pours through tears. It is so powerful that there is no longer a need for words. It takes over every aspect of your being, and in the moments in between you know that you have been a part of something more beautiful than anything you have the capability to imagine. You have loved unconditionally, and you have been loved equally back. I think the secret to life is the moments in between.
There are some birthdays that stand out in your memories more than others, and I’m sure turning 51 will be one that I never forget. I was able to convince my steadfast Swede husband to take the day off so waking up in my birthday suit after having the luxury of sleeping in a couple of hours longer than usual was a great start. Morning coffee,pistachio baklava, and a movie on a Tuesday morning well that for me was like a small piece of heaven.
My loved one, and I have shared the same birthday for 32 years. So this year we decided that we would all go up to the nursing facility, and completely decorate his entire room. Before hopping in the shower I peeked at my FB page, and I was showered with beautiful wishes from all my family, and friends.My Daughter stayed up until midnight so she could be the first to post happy birthday to me on my page. She posted one of my favorite pictures of us together, and wrote the most beautiful tribute to me. I don’t think I will ever forget the beauty of her words. That post alone would have made this birthday unforgettable.
Yesterday my Mom, and my Sister (The Goat Cheese Sister) invited me, and my children over for a lunch where they prepared all of my favorite dishes. My Sister knows that I have always wanted to go to Norway, and that my favorite animal in the world is the goat. So this year she contacted an artist who had photographed goats in Norway to buy me custom-made hand towels with the goat’s image on them. They are completely awesome!
My father-in-law who has been a total warrior is at the point where his body will no longer be able to continue his battle. Yesterday was our last birthday together. After 32 wonderful birthdays together I can not even imagine a birthday without him. As a family we decorated his room, and we all sat around his bed sharing our favorite memories together. It was one of the most precious, and heartbreaking moments of my life. Aside from our immense love for him, the only gift we have left to give him is his dignity. We made the heart breaking decision to honor his last wishes.
My cousin gave birth to a beautiful baby boy who will now share my future birthdays with me. I believe he his a gift from the heavens to remind me that life is full of both meetings, and partings. So you see there are some birthdays that do stand out in our memories more than others, it has truly been the most unusual birthday ever…